He wanted to kill the man all over again. Slowly.
“I fell back. And you know what was worst about the entire thing? He just ignored me. He didn’t even pretend that he wasn’t doing that—,” she shuddered, “—unspeakable act.”
“There was a rock beside me. I didn’t know what else to do. He dropped the knife when I hit him the first time. I didn’t stop until he wasn’t moving anymore.”
Her eyes were haunted but her face composed. “I did the right thing. The girl, Chere, helped me arrange the body so no one would know and—” She looked at him defiantly. “And I’m proud of what I did!”
He couldn’t stay impartial any longer. “Good.”
“Good?”
“He needed to die. You saved that girl. You lived. Good.”
She was still pacing manically. He stepped in front of her. She almost ran into him, she was so focused on her inner debate. He caught her by the forearms and pressed one hand against his bare, scarred side. She’d just trusted him with her darkest secret. Time to return the favour.
“I can’t feel it. It was two years after Cordova. Our Eagle was attacked and we went down. Pilots dead, men wounded, insurgents closing in. We climbed to a defensible position in the mountains and called for evac. I was helping secure the LZ and we didn’t know it at the time, but we were in the middle of daiton territory during mating season.”
He saw her fingers press on the scars, heard the hiss of air between her teeth. She’d clearly heard of the oversized creatures, a legacy of the nuclear and biochemical warfare that had plagued the Republic in its infancy.
“It was a male. A huge, fucking male. He lunged for one of our men and I pushed him out of the way.”
“You were trying to save him?”
Her eyes were full of such hope.
He shook his head. “Nope. I was trying to die.”
He couldn’t read her face and for some reason that scared him.
“He was through my armour in one bite.”
He could still remember the crunch as the lizard’s teeth had gone through the plates, the sting from the venom, the brief terror followed by the peace of thinking that he’d finally be with Callie. Only to have the male reposition its jaws again and again before it was killed.
Before he was evacuated and put back together in a Lawmen medical facility. She didn’t need to know how bad it had been.
“They got me out and I spent the next six months in hospital.”
“The wounds were that bad?”
“No. They healed pretty quickly. The neurotoxin’s what fucked me up. They couldn’t release me for active duty after that. I suffered from...irreparable neurological decay,” he quoted. “Not safe to send a soldier into combat if he can’t feel himself getting shot in the side.”
“Good.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Good?”
“If they hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t be here now, keeping me safe and teaching me all sorts of new things,” she explained, running a finger down his chest, his stomach and stopping in the middle of his tattoo. “So, yes...good.”
Thank the gods he had an out now. No more crap about emotions and feelings. Sex was simple. They both needed simple right now.
His voice was husky and her eyes darkened in response to the lower timbre. “Well, you know what else is good?”
“What?”
“Us. Naked.”
He scooped her up and moved toward the bedroom.
“Aren’t I supposed to be getting out of town?” she laughed.