“Yeah.”
Her eyes slid up and down his body and he knew what she was thinking. He straightened up from the island and turned away from her. It took every ounce of courage he had, but he managed to pull off his shirt, exposing his back to her for the first time.
He appreciated that she tried to stifle her gasp, but he’d known it was coming. It always did when someone saw the extent of the damage.
“What did they do to you?” The shock and pain in her voice hurt, but not the way he was used to. This was different...This was shared outrage at his injuries, not terrified pity or, worse, untoward fascination.
“A lot of things,” he said, refusing to let her get those images trapped in her head. “They used salt to make sure it didn’t get too infected. Made for some nasty scars though.”
That was an understatement. He turned back to her, letting his shirt fall back down to cover him, a little afraid of whether he should continue. She’d abandoned her coffee cup and he noticed that her hands were trembling. He returned to the island and reached out. He took her hands in his, running his fingers over her skin, focusing on how smooth she felt.
“I won’t lie, Viv, when they said they were going to kill us, it was a fucking relief.”
“So why’d you fight them?”
***
Up until she asked him that, Zeke had been sharing his story steadily. But for some reason, her question made him pause. Draw away from her. Pace the kitchen. Lift his arms above his head, sending his abs and chest flexing, before swinging them back down in a gesture of frustration.
“I fought because I was a coward,” he finally said.
That, more than any of the other shocking details he’d voiced, made her brain grind to a halt. “What?”
“I didn’t want to die. That’s why I fought.”
She blinked. “I fail to see how that makes you cowardly. Someone who follows basic biological imperatives, maybe, but not a coward.”
His fists clenched. “The news never talked about what happened during the escape, did they? There were three of us there, Viv. Me, John, and Aengus. While I was busy trying to save myself, Aengus got shot. The bullet went in through his eye and blew out the back of his skull. He died because I didn’t want to.”
“All three of you would have died if you didn’t fight back,” she said cautiously.
Either he didn’t hear her, or he was too caught up to understand what she’d said. “Someone leaked the news to the media while John and I were in the hospital. You know how they get about speculating all sorts of insane shit. So when my mother heard the news report that an Irish boy had been killed, she assumed it was me because I hadn’t been able to tell her I was on an international squad.”
So much pain in that steady gaze. His voice broke a little when he added, “She slit her wrists in the bathtub and left my father to find her body when he got back from a business trip. I didn’t get the news until I got stateside.”
“Zeke–”
“Everyone wanted to tell my story. But that meant they’d have to learn about her and what she did...” His voice trailed off. “I couldn’t do that to her. It was my fault.”
He seemed so lost, so defiantly hurt, that she rose, moving around the island to stand at his side. He shuddered when she reached up and put a hand on his shoulder.
“It was her choice, not yours,” she whispered, stroking his skin and wishing she could soothe him.
“They wouldn’t leave me alone,” he said. “They were going to find out. So I left.”
“That’s how you ended up in Karim?”
He took a ragged breath, but nodded. “I didn’t mean to stay here. But I was at a bar and a fight broke out, so I defended one of the workers. Preston, my boss at The Club, was there and offered me a position.” He shrugged. “Good money, worked with my skill set, and Mr. Mak promised he’d buy me some anonymity.”
“And he did?”
“Yeah. So I don’t mind working for him.”
She couldn’t overlook the faint twist of his lips. “You don’t mind working for him, but you don’t like it either.”
Zeke ran a hand over his hair, a nervous smoothing of the cut. “I like Mr. Mak. He’s a good guy. Loves his wife, is loyal to his friends. Doesn’t take shit. I respect that. But–”
“But?” She waited and a moment later her patience was paid off with a deep sigh.