Mission For Love (Love By Design 6)

“I’ll take that as a raincheck.” Chase backed out of the room and I turned to call him back. I needed to explain. This was…well, I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it required damage control of some kind.

“Let it go, Kiara. Chase is a big boy.” David tugged me back, but I wasn’t having it.

“Speak for yourself.” I pushed away and moved to get out of the hot tub on my own before I remembered I was missing a key part of myself.

A hot flash of anger came over me. “Can you just…leave?” I avoided looking at David and heard his huff of frustration before he pushed away from the tub and stalked out. I was fine, but I wasn’t fine. I’d gotten in and out of this tub probably hundreds of times over the years. My issue was David seeing me as less than whole despite my well rounded okay-ness. It was stupid. Irrational. But I didn’t want to have to justify myself or my feelings when I’d barely begun to own them.

By the time I’d maneuvered out of the water and on to the bench wrapped in a towel, I knew he was long gone.

13

David

“Damn.” I growled stomping out to my truck. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to discuss my PT with Roy because Kiara had distracted me from the moment I saw her walk in today. She was my kryptonite. It didn’t help that our mutual friend Chase was giving me the overprotective side-eye I didn’t need. Heck, we had more history than he did with Kiara unless I had completely misread the situation.

It’s not like they ever dated.

It was fine.

And yet, I still felt these unexplainable rage like feelings that maybe he knew her better than I did. He didn’t, but that didn’t mean logic was ruling my lizard brain.

Overthinking got me into trouble.

I practiced the breathing technique the VA therapist helped me come up with when I left the service. I envisioned my chill place as Dr. Cantor called it. The place where I was calm and one with the world. I stood at the edge of the cliff and felt the wind take me on a ride over the tree tops and mountain ridges. My chill place was home, it had always been home. Sometimes, I saw Sky Top, the lake at Saranac. Other times it was hiking Mount Marcy, Whitface, Grey, or Colden. Now, these were place I wanted to explore Kiara if she’d let me.

I wasn’t about to let a setback like Chase finding out about us impede our budding relationship. I’d text him or call or him later to clear things up. We were adults and Kiara would have to get used to people seeing us together at some point. I was more than willing to respect her boundaries at school, but during our free time, I didn’t want to have to hide my feelings for her like a juvenile secret.

I got into my truck and drove back to the pub and my apartment. Maybe I needed a nap, or a shower, or a good wank in the shower followed by a nap. I definitely needed something especially after fingering Kiara in the hot tub like a teenager trying to be caught. The look on her face was priceless. I didn’t appreciate her need to go after Chase like she needed to diffuse something. There was nothing to diffuse. I liked her. She liked me, or so I thought. The world could get over it. I’d seen enough real life horrors that protecting Chase’s sensibilities just didn’t ring for me on my list of priorities.

But…Burrito Barn tacos did sound good. I could go for a run later to burn off the calories of queso and guacamole. Turning the truck around I drove to the hole in the wall eatery that employed a good number of rotating college students and prepared to order my weight in steak tacos.

“Fancy meeting you here.” I turned back to see Chase Calloway the relentless pain in my ass standing right behind me.

“You run after me or something?”

“Or something.” He snarked raising a smarmy dark blond eyebrow at me.

“Say it, Chase.” My hands ran over my head brushing the short cut to give me something to do besides grab my old football buddy and strangle him.

He put his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side as if to run down all the things he wanted to say to me, but instead went with, “Kiara is cool.”

Oh, I guess we were going to have one of those heart to heart conversations then. I was on the same page, but still, our relationship or lack of one had nothing to do with him.

“Look, if this is one of those don’t hurt her or I’ll hurt you conversations, save it. We’re not anything right now which isn’t for my lack of trying.”

Chase chuckled grabbing my shoulder and shook me lightly.

“So maybe it’s Kiara I need to have this conversation with, huh?”

I grunted. “Yeah, maybe.” If he could get her to see reason, stop being skittish or avoidant it would be great. Chase was the guy who basically diffused every bad situation on the football field. If he hadn’t been injured, it would have made him a star and a team captain on a professional team. He was a good friend and maybe I assumed things I shouldn’t which made me feel bad. The kind of bad that had me hearing my mother whisper over my shoulder to play nice with the other kids. I was going to have to work on that, another thing I could bring up with my VA therapist next time I saw Dr. Cantor. I swore that woman didn’t have to look hard for things to work on to fix me. At this rate, I’d end up helping fund her kids college education by keeping her busy.

“Let me give you the Kiara 101.” Chase and I took our taco orders to a table and sat down.

“She’s been through a lot. I get it.” I shoved a taco in my mouth enjoying the burst of flavors on my tongue. Nothing better than mountain air, fresh cilantro, sour cream, pico de gallo, and meat.

“Yeah, but that’s the thing. Kiara makes you think she’s good, but deep down, I think she’s still that scared little girl waiting for bad news or a disappointment.”

“Because of the cancer?” I shoved another taco in my mouth giving Chase the opportunity to speak more on this mystery.