I hang up and try reaching Casey. I doubt she’ll come back to the building, so I have to find her on my own. She doesn’t pick up her phone, so I leave her several texts, each more pleading than the last. I’m feeling desperate. Knowing she didn’t head directly toward her apartment worries me because I don’t know who’s out there doing this… and I feel like it’s my fault for not protecting her…
19
Casey
Lying on the floor is only a tad more productive than lying in my bed… or that’s the lie I continue to tell myself anyway. Hot shame fills me, along with the questions I dare to ask myself.
How?
Who?
Why?
My mind races, wondering if the station will get in trouble. Will James get in trouble? I already know I’m in trouble. I know I need to talk to him, but the humiliation keeps me from reaching out… plus, my phone is obliterated at the moment. I take it out of my pocket, my fingernail tracing over the shattered cracks in the screen. It’s amazing how quickly life can turn.
Banging on my door startles me and I push away from the wall, scooting across the floor until my back hits the couch. “Casey! Open the door, sweetheart. I need to know you’re okay.” More banging on the door rattles it from the paper thin jam.
“I’m here. I’m coming.” The words are barely audible so I know he hasn’t heard me. He continues attacking my door, and I know it’s only a matter of time before James will be able to break it open. Sniffling, I try to compose myself, standing up on unsteady legs. I feel more like eighty than in my mid-twenties.
“Casey. Please. Just open the door.”
I take a step forward when I hear more commotion coming from the hallway. It can only mean Devin has emerged from his lair to give James a problem, although I doubt he’d need a reason to lay him out right now.
“Stop!” I yell when I hear them physically going at each other bodies thumping against the hallway walls. I grab the door and fumble to open it, my fingers still cold and numb. Pulling it back, I see James and Devin pushing and swinging at each other in the narrow hallway. I try to get between them, but get pushed out of the way. I’m not sure by who, but it saves me from getting a swing to the face.
“You piece of shit!”
“Pretty boy garbage!” They trade insults like children and look about as roughed up, banging into the wall and pushing each other around.
“Both of you stop it!” They turn, giving me their undivided attention. One is contrite; the other, still harboring disgust. I point to James, then my apartment. “Get in or get out.” I’m seething with anger. Devin spits in the hallway, then walks away, slamming his door. James hangs his head low and turns toward me. Emotional overload keeps me teetering on the edge of numb and ready to snap. James places his hands on my hips, guiding me forward, protective. The heat from his grip permeates my damp clothes and his strength is what I need most now. I try to get myself under control before I start screaming incoherently. Deep breaths follow and I clutch my chest, thinking how none of this would have happened if I had left well enough alone and hadn’t fucked my boss… or myself out of a job.
“W-What the hell were you t-thinking?” I try scolding him as he shuts my door, securely placing the chain.
“He started it.” James doesn’t look at me. Anger heats me up and I’m no longer cold from the rain. He raises his arms up, taking a moment to lean against the door before he pushes away, turning towards me. His look is intense and unreadable forcing me to take a step back.
Stuttering, I hoarsely say, “I-I don’t care w-who goaded whom first.” He has the good sense to not reply, leaving me feeling uncertain. I feel like he should be doing something, just not beating the shit out of my douche-canoe neighbor.
“What were you thinking, leaving the station like that?” James looks tired and a host of other emotions I can’t identify, causing me to shiver again.
“I couldn’t s-stay there.” The words slip from me, along with fresh tears.
“Casey, I never wanted anything to hurt you.” James tugs on my shoulders and pulls me into his arms, forcing my cheek to his chest. His heart beats fast as he runs his hands over me, sharing his heat. He holds me quietly until our hearts start beating in sync. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you cleaned up and warm.” James ushers me to my bathroom, his size making the already small galley-sized room shrink with both of us inside.
I listen to James shut the door, locking it and securing us inside the seventies throwback. Teal blue and black tile checkers everything, except the blue chipped tub and toilet. My sink was replaced a few months ago and gleams white with new fixtures. It’s absolutely hideous; it matches nothing and probably every single woman’s city living experience. I never understood why apartment bathrooms had to be so ugly especially when we spend such a substantial amount of time in them.
Turning, I look in the mirror. Fog begins to distort our faces, a mask shielding us from recent events. James has put the shower on full blast. Steam fills the room, making the air humid and thick. “Let’s get these clothes off of you, baby.” He slowly peels my
jacket off, dropping it to the floor.
Turning, I cup his face in my hands. “Thank you.” It seems an inadequate thing to say. I don’t even know what I’m really thanking him for, but it feels like I should say something. He turns his face and kisses my palm.
“I will always come running for you. I want you to expect that from me because anything else is unacceptable.” Another kiss to my temple and James kneels down, pulling down my leggings that feel suctioned to my legs. “Oh, baby, what’s this?” James has his head pretty much in my crotch, but he’s got his eyes fixed on my shin, which now stings.
“I fell coming inside.” I hop out of my pants with a little help and James touches the spot, making me wince.
“It doesn’t look too bad or deep, but I still don’t like it.” He carefully maneuvers around me and helps me into the shower.
“Ahh, that feels so good.” Hot water beats on me and even the sting of my knee feels better.