Summer Ever After

“Would you like a drink, miss?” The flight attendant comes to my seat in first-class, offering me a pillow and blanket for the short flight.

“Thank you, yes, please. I’ll take anything with alcohol.” My chest heaves with pains and, mindlessly, I wave at her, adjusting myself in the deeply cushioned first-class seat.

“Leaving a lover, I see.” She looks older than me and kindly winks at my request, nodding and humming to herself. I suppose she sees this sort of thing regularly. My stomach twists in knots, but this is the choice I committed to making. Coming home. Dreading home.

She quickly returns with a napkin and a glass of white wine, pressing it into my hand. “Keep them coming.” It’s chilled, but not as cold as I feel leaving a piece of me behind in Seattle.

The plane ride is uneventful, and even though Roman arranged for a car service, I cancel it knowing that once I texted my dad my flight information, someone of his choosing will be there to pick me up. This is where I pay a piece of my penance for leaving. Guilt puts me back into the box of expectations, and I follow the stifling rules once more.

I get off the plane and grab my small bag of clothes. LA is still warm and muggy from the smog pollution. Slipping inside the airport bathroom, I splash cold water over my pale, drawn face. Taking the phone from my purse, hands shaking, I turn it on. Anxiety rushes through me. I know I dropped a bomb in Roman’s lap with my declaration. I have no idea how he’ll respond, and the possible rejection cuts me. No messages… the pain leaves me stranded at the bottom of a dark well of emotions, trapped. It hurts, but I’m sure my message shocked the hell out of him. Heck, it shocked me. Heading out of the airport, I text him to let him know I arrived in LA.

Safely landed in LA. I sure didn’t miss the air pollution.

More like I’m missing him. Desperately, I wait a full five minutes inside the terminal not wanting to see who my ride might me. When nothing dings over my phone, sadness creeps up on me, and then disappointment overwhelms me once I exit the gate and see him, the ex. Lucas’ shiny car is waiting for me at the curb. I dread having to be anywhere near him, but here it is, my reality check. I grab Roman’s duffle bag filled with my few belongings and secure it over my shoulder like a heavy rock.

“Abs, glad you’ve finally seen reason and come back.” Lucas rushes over to me and gives me an awkward kind of hug. His hands pat my back and, thankfully, don’t wander anywhere else. The contact leaves me empty, and I know the attraction, or whatever it was before, is completely dead between us, at least on my part. I don’t know if we are supposed to be consoling each other or just confirming how shitty things have turned out.

“More like my dad called and ordered my return.” Grunting a response, he leaves me to get back in the car, letting me stow my own bag. Nothing changes much with this guy. “How’s Leah?” I want to steer clear of any topics regarding our past and, instead, find out how my sister is faring.

“Managing. You know how she gets.” He pulls the car out onto the highway and heads for my dad’s office downtown.

Sighing, I looking out the window, glancing at the familiar sights along the highway. Cars zip by and my heart is heavy, missing my sailor. “You mean normally or while they’re injecting her with super bitch chemicals?” The comment is harsh, but I’m h

urting and being with my ex, who now belongs to my sister, is confusing and weird.

“Abs, that’s not fair. The doctor’s told me she’s been masking the symptoms for a while. She didn’t get treatment right away because she didn’t think she was sick.”

“We call that denial. Welcome to the Holliday family.” Leah is so much like my dad. I’m betting she thought she was above getting cancer because that doesn’t happen to people like us.

He pauses and whispers, “I don’t know if she’s the same person anymore.” He looks ahead and smoothly passes by several cars, increasing the speed of his own. I’m not sure what he means by that and only seeing my traitorous sister will answers the questions threatening to overwhelm me.

“I didn’t mean it unsympathetically.” I roll my eyes, looking out the window, filled to the brim with frustration for this unbelievably selfish man driving the car. I guess I’m one to call the kettle black, but still… “Our mom changed a bit when her treatments were in progress. I have to imagine it’s taking a similar toll on Leah from what I remember of Mom.”

“This all kind of came crashing down on me when I left you in Gold Beach.” His fingers tap the steering wheel, and he adjusts the radio to some barely there song. It’s irritating, this poor me attitude, and I turn the dial aggressively, tuning the background music out.

“I bet it did. Guess you figured you were moving up instead of down in the world by cashing in on whatever my sister offered you.” Bitterness is a vile creature and she has me in her clutches. The comment comes out before I can take it back, but it’s the truth, and the truth fucking cuts sometimes.

“Oh, and thank your boyfriend for the ticket I got and the cop chasing me out of town. He’s real classy, Abs. A real fucking winner that one.” Lucas peers at me through his sunglasses. I wave him off, ignoring the comment about Roman. I can only imagine Lucas behaved like the entitled jerk he’s always been to the cop anyway. Lucas Crowley deserved what he got.

“Really, how is Leah doing with this all?” Switching the conversation to the person with a real problem seems safer. Next time, I won’t cancel the car service, because if I could jump out of this car, I would consider it.

“Of course she’s more… grouchy… than usual.” Both of us make a fake kind of laughing sound, knowing intrinsically my sister has to be the worst patient on the planet. Her temperament has something left to be desired under normal circumstances. “Everyone is at the office. Your dad asked me to bring you there first. Did you bring anything to change into?” Lucas stares at my casual attire I threw on when I left Roman’s boat. His lip curls as if I might embarrass him. I guess some things…make that most things, will never change with Lucas.

“No, actually, I didn’t. I was a bit preoccupied with worry for Leah and the traveling back. I just want to get caught up and see where I’m needed most in the office.”

“Are you sure? I could stop at one of the shops on the way? Let you borrow my credit card.” Borrow? Yeah, because I would ever consider that? No. Lucas is an idiot.

“No, I just want today to be over with.” Reaching for my phone, I check it again. Still nothing.

“Right, I bet that Roman guy misses you already.” He gazes at the phone in my hand, sneering. Lucas cuts off another driver, and I grab the dashboard of the car while the other car honks at us.

“Jesus. Don’t be a dick, Lucas. I’m sure Dad has a laundry list of things he’d like for me to do today. Let’s not waste time dressing me up like a damn doll, okay?” Begrudgingly, he apologizes and nods.

We park in the garage under my dad’s building. Grabbing the bag, I sling it over my shoulder. I will certainly be arranging another way to get home from here as I get into the sleek elevator. It is nothing like the old loft elevator in Roman’s building and my heart lurches. Damn, I miss him and it’s been mere hours. I check the phone again and look for new messages as floors slip by us going up. No messages, yet… It hurts. Did I push him away with my admission of love? Roman isn’t one to ignore things. That’s my MO, not his.

I brace myself, stepping into the offices of Holliday, Barlow & DeWitt. Dad’s office is at the end of the hall flanked by his partners Everest Barlow and Mike DeWitt. I pass my sister’s office and find it eerily empty, the lights off and the door shut.

“Abigail.” Just before I turn to go into my dad’s office, Everest is there hugging me. “I’m glad you’re back.” Everest has always been a stable force in my life. He and my dad attended law school together and chased after my mom until she gave in and settled on marrying Dad. Or at least, that’s how the story was always told to Leah and me every holiday dinner we shared with him. I think it’s been an unspoken sore spot for Everest, seeing as how he never married.