Devil With Benefits (Gods & Guardians)

"What did you study?" Heimdall asks.

I remember sitting in class, but for the life of me, I can't remember anything else. I can't recall the school, nor the students that I must have befriended. I can't even remember the color of the apartment building.

"I... I don't need to answer your questions," I say.

They're both staring at me like I'm delusional.

"Did you ever go to school, Ash?" Heimdall asks.

I can't offer an answer or explanation. A whole section of my life has been cut from my memories, and I have no idea how or why or who the fuck did it.

I have to admit it to them, but Heimdall calls it first. "You don't remember, do you? We could be walking into the end of the worst war this world has ever experienced, and you don't have a clue who you are."

Pissing off Loki is one thing, but Heimdall? I feel like I've hit my lowest.

"I'm not a bad guy," I mutter.

I sure feel like I am. Bad. Stupid. Completely unworthy of acting as a leader, let alone a god.

"Lucifer must have known," I whisper.

The realization knocks the wind right out of me. "The visions. Do him and I share them? He must have orchestrated this whole thing."

I look down, and the floor is spinning.

"Ash, what is going on?" Heimdall asks. His voice is low and distorted.

"It's happening again..."

I can feel it again, the horrible twisting sensation that precedes every revelation I've been forced to bear witness. Within seconds my consciousness shoots out of my body, and I am lost in a realm outside of time and space. I'm floating through my memories again, and I see Lucifer.

It's so much stronger than before.

Suddenly, I'm sitting on a gold and velvet chair. He's smiling. He's a... friend.

"Thanks for having me. It's been a rough month," I tell him.

"You can stay here whenever you want," he says. "In fact, I demand it. You need time to get better. You're not well, Shadow."

Shadow? Is that me? Is that my real name?

"I should be getting home," I say. "I need to organize my mom's things for the funeral."

He pats my shoulder. "Don't you worry, old friend. I'll deal with that. You're grieving."

This must have been right after my mother passed away, right before I lost my mind. Was he responsible for it? Or did he simply take advantage of my weakness?

I nod and force a smile. "Thanks," I say.

That part of the vision ends, but there's more I am shown. A lot more.

I jump forward in time, spinning through a vortex. Suddenly, I'm walking through an elaborate garden, days later. I look like I'm happy, but my eyes are dull.

"I want to say thanks again for all your help with mom's funeral," I say.

The sun shines against Lucifer's face, and he almost looks holy.

Almost.