Lucas bent to kiss her stomach and caress her hips. “She’s right, Vash. You’d be wise to listen to her once in a while.”
Killian sat back against the rocks and lowered his feet into the salty water below. Breathing in deeply, he looked perplexed. “Killian, what is it?” she asked him.
The husky alpha shook his head and combed his fingers through his long strands of hair. “When we owned you, we disregarded what we had. We thought we had the answers,” he said. “But now, as I sit underneath this earth, I feel the weight of the world’s hurt and affectations take over my heart. I just want to love, but I am in a constant state of suffering.”
“Fear fills our hearts to the brim,” Rae said, knowing exactly how he felt.
Killian nodded, but he did not say much more. Instead, he took her hips and sighed.
Rae pondered the choices the men had been faced with making during the wars, back when they first found her intact. Perhaps that was the hardest realization of all to reconcile. She wished he’d never had to lose in order to gain. It was such a cruel way to learn.
“I fear you’ll gain the world from this,” Killian admitted.
“If I gain the world, I will lose all of the innocence I once had,” Rae said. “I just want a normal life.”
Killian laughed, seemingly shocked that she couldn’t understand her. “Were you ever truly innocent?” he asked. “Sometimes, I do not think we are awake. Life, for me, has been like sleepwalking. Whoever made this world has made us their puppets. I am sure of this now.”
She had been called special her entire existence, but never knew why. She’d never imagined herself as an idol to be worshipped. That wasn’t what she wanted out of life. She merely wanted to be a mother and a wife. But if the system engineered her to take care of the earth, she knew she would have to act accordingly. Even if she didn’t believe in a god, she believed in a force more powerful than herself. Whatever it was, she preferred to keep it nameless out of respect.
“No, I suppose not,” she said. “You’re right.”
Killian carefully cradled her in his arms, vowing never to let go. If she did choose to lead after Ruby’s annihilation, he would stand by her side with the other alphas. The three would defend her and lavish her with daily praise and worship. They would give her everything she’d ever wanted.
And, in turn, Rae would bow her head and submit to the vibrant hand of destiny until her death.
Chapter Ten
“You have done more evil than all who lived before you. You have made for yourself other gods, idols made of metal. You have aroused my anger and turned your back on me,” Virgil muttered under his breath.
“Virgil? Is that you?” Rae yawned loudly and carefully opened her eyes to the bright light of Virgil’s candle. The old man faced the opposite direction, and it appeared he was kneeling in the prayer position, despite the water rising up to his fragile hips.
As soon as her voice echoed throughout the long and hollow cavity, he turned and startled back, revealing the faint outlines of thin tears. “Oh! You’re awake.”
Rae rubbed her eyes once more and extended her curled legs from the rocky recess within the wall. Somehow, the alphas were still snoring despite her movements and speech. Trying her hardest to keep quiet, she swiveled out of the shaky bed and plopped into the shallow water.
“I heard you speaking to yourself. What was it you said?” she asked.
Virgil held the candle above his head. Rae couldn’t help but stare as the light waxed and waned around the rough ceiling. For the first time, Virgil was concerned. “I was just reciting my verses,” he said. “I’m still a religious man. Somehow.”
“Religion? You mean that you actually believe in the God of the privileged?” she asked. “Kings have used those words to rape and pillage.”
“Oh, they’ve used them to do worse than that,” he replied.
Rae noticed the sweat that was beading across his forehead, the rushed breathing that extended his ribs, and the bothered glaze that shrouded the pupils of his eyes. He seemed to be aging more each day, and she wondered if he would last much longer after their journey.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter what I believe,” Virgil said. “Mankind will be shown the truth time and time again, and they’ll always swing back to the lie.”
“Maybe there is no lie and no truth,” she suggested. “Maybe this is the process we have to succumb to in order to get to the other side.”
Although Virgil nodded, this idea was obviously troubling, even to her. “Then, we will always struggle through the chaos blindly. I truly hope that is not the case.”
“Unfortunately, I have known no other way,” she said.
“Nor have I,” he said. “Though, I am no different than the tormentors of the world.”
“Well, you seem different,” Rae said.
“I understand why you compliment me. You are mostly kind to others, but I’m not sure it helps your case” he said.