I couldn't admit to Liss that I'd inadvertently confessed to Reno that I'd caught feelings for him. Not when I was pretending it hadn’t happened. I was still struggling to believe it had happened. But words said in confusion and a heightened state of emotion shouldn't be taken at face value. They certainly shouldn't be taken to mean anything, for example, by the man-whore four tables across from me who appeared to be totally hands off with the local bike he liked to service daily. I wasn't unhappy with this new and unexpected turn of events per se, mostly just with the incident that had preceded, and no doubt inspired, them. Despite all that, there was a weird giddy feeling that I hadn’t been able to shake since he’d told me he was coming for me. I wanted to call it trepidation.
I also wanted to know if it was possible to make yourself believe your own lies.
I jumped up, needing away from the entire situation. “I gotta pee. Then I need to talk to Miss Bowman about something. See you in English?”
She nodded distractedly, lips pursed, narrowed eyes not even looking in my direction. Nope, she had them trained like a spotlight on the table to our right, fitting all the puzzle pieces together.
“Didn't see the sign on the door?” I raised a brow at the reflection in the mirrored glass. “Or do you think it doesn't apply to you, like everything else?”
“Ignored it.”
“’Course you did.” Scrubbing my hands together, I watched the suds form then rinse away under the stream of warm water before raising my head.
Molten eyes seared into mine, and I shifted my gaze, trailing it down over his broad chest. The thin grey fabric of his shirt did nothing to hide the defined ridges underneath. My eyes traveled to his tanned face, taking in his sharp cheekbones, the strong jaw that had just the right amount of dark scruff. Bypassing his eyes, I moved to his mussed hair. The longer strands on top sat in disarray, as if he’d tunnelled his fingers through it.
With my attention diverted, he crept closer. My breath hitched when his knuckles brushed against the skin below my ear. Deft fingers gathered my hair and lifted it to one side. His breath fanned the curve of my neck, lips tantalisingly close to my skin. Raising my eyes halfway, I met his hooded gaze through the mirror and watched, rapt, as his mouth pressed into my flesh, opening to suck gently. My vision obscured as my lids slid closed and he pressed his hard front into my back, molding himself to me. My throat went dry, limbs grew weak, and my bones turned to mush.
“I decided I didn't want to wait for you to ask,” Reno murmured quietly against my throat, pressing barely there kisses all the way to my jaw. Waiting until I opened my eyes and locked them onto his, he said, “I'm not gonna touch anyone else, Riley. I already know you don't want me to. Besides... it's not them I want.”
Why was he doing this to me? I could fight against anything else, anything. But not this. He could kill my resolve with kindness and pretty words.
“Please don't.”
In one swift move he spun my body, lifting and planting me on the counter. His wide frame stepped between my legs and his determined gaze speared me. “You want me.”
I shook my head, jamming my lips together for fear they might spew more unlicensed truths if given half a chance.
“I know you do. I’m done waiting for you to come to me.”
“No, I don't.” Lie. Outrageous lie.
Struggling against his hold, I wriggled my lower body in a bid to get down. A frustrated growl tore from his throat as he gripped my hands and pinned them to my sides, using his bulk to force my butt back on the counter.
“Dammit, Ri, why won't you just admit it?”
My heart pounded between us. I broke eye contact and pleaded with him. “Let me down.”
“Not happening, sweetheart.”
My head cracked up, eyes cutting to his.
Dipping to bring our gazes level, he touched his nose to mine and dragged his hands up my arms until they cupped my cheeks. In a deceptively soft voice, he said, “We're not leaving until you say. The. Fucking. Words.”
This version of Reno—soft, sweet. Yeah, I had no defense against that. Gripping onto his forearms, I tried to break out of his hold, to deny him a response, deny there was anything to admit, but the raw emotion glowing in his eyes disarmed me. I felt my body sag, the fight drain out of me. I couldn't run, I couldn't hide. Not from myself. And not from him. I wanted to battle against his onslaught, but I couldn't deny what I could see reflected in his eyes. And I couldn't possibly fight him and myself. Not anymore. It was exhausting.
I was done trying.
So, I fixed my eyes on his and opened my mouth to give him my truth, my voice and body trembling.
“I could screw every single guy in this school.” I tightened my grip on his forearm when his face hardened, a crease forming between his brows. Still holding onto his gaze, I swallowed. “Not one of them could make a dent in the wall I've built around my heart. But you…” Shuddering, I let my forehead drop to rest against his, releasing my arm to bring my fist down against his chest. “You've been smashing them down since the day I met you. You never even had to try.” Peering up at him through moisture coated lashes, I whispered, “And that terrifies me.”
I was sure he'd run. That I would have freaked him out. We both knew he wanted my body, not my soul. Instead, his hands gripped my face tighter. His features softened, but his eyes suddenly blazed with a fiery intensity I'd never seen in him before. He stared into me as if he could crack open my skull and examine me from the inside. Moving until there was no space between our faces, with a guttural ferocity to his voice that stroked something deep down inside of me, he vowed, “I won’t hurt you, Riley. I. Will. Never. Fucking. Hurt you.”
His mouth crashed down on mine. My lips flew open, momentarily surprised, then I was kissing him back with everything I'd been holding inside of me. My hands found their way to his head, fingers threading through his hair and gripping on tight. The air between us burned like it was on fire. He dropped one hand to my ass, hauling me forward until there wasn't a sliver of space separating us. It wasn't close enough. Somehow, I already knew it never would be.
When we stopped for air, mouths still connected, I opened my eyes and breathed against his lips. “Yes... you will.”
He might not intend to, but eventually he would hurt me. He was only human.