I moved to the narrow table and wrapped a hand around the wooden chair back. “You okay?” I asked, voice low.
Her eyes filmed instantly, and I wanted to snatch the words back then kick my own ass. When the opportunity presented itself, I never fucking failed to put my foot in my mouth. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t—”
“It’s okay,” she shushed me with a wave of her hand, her pink-tipped fingers swiping at her cheeks. “I’m okay.”
I gave one curt nod, not wanting to push and not sure what the fuck to say next. My gaze inadvertently travelled over her shoulder and out the window to the far side of the trailer park. To where Ren was trying to fit the pieces of his life back together. I cleared my throat and shoved my hands in my pockets, voice gruff. “Have you seen him at all?”
Riley’s breath escaped in a rush, arms coming up to wrap tight around her body. Those glassy eyes flitted away as she shook her head and croaked, “No.”
Bringing my gaze back to her pale face, I noticed the dark smudges beneath her eyes, the sharper cut of her cheekbones. She rolled her lips together as I studied her, then moved to the kitchen with a deep breath in.
“You want anything?” She turned to face me. “There’s cake. It’s uh… edible.”
I smiled. “Wow. Now, there’s a ringing endorsement.”
She turned back to me with a small grin. “You should consider yourself lucky. Liss had to act as guinea pig.”
The name dropped between us like an invisible lead balloon, and Riley folded her arms over her chest as her knowing eyes sought mine. “She survived the taste test. In case you were worried.”
I flicked up a brow. “Way to deflect.”
Her rose lips hitched up a little on one side as she grabbed the dishcloth tucked through the stove handle and started folding it. “She leaves in a couple of days.”
My jaw tightened, and I worked to loosen it, schooling my expression, and forcing my shoulders to relax. “Good for her.”
Setting the cloth down on the counter, Riley blinked slowly and locked me in her shrewd gaze. I could almost feel it probing, like an insect crawling around inside my skull.
My fingers scratched at my head instinctively, and I threw her a scowl. “Quit that.”
“What?” She raised her eyebrows.
“Dissecting my brain from the outside. It’s fucking creepy.”
Her quiet laughter shook her slim shoulders, the slightest hint of color pinking her cheeks. Until her quiet chuckles subsided, and her face turned serious. “What happened there, Le? Liss confid
ed in me about something I won’t repeat, but you guys had this ceasefire going, and then the next thing I know, she’s back to wanting to lop off your balls with a meat cleaver. What happened?”
Something pulled at my chest, and I looked away, clearing my throat. “Nothing.”
Nothing. Before I’d even said the word, I knew it was a lie. Still wasn’t sure what the hell had happened between us, but it wasn’t nothing. If it was, I wouldn’t still be fucking thinking about it after all these months of radio silence. Saying it out loud didn’t make the lie any easier to swallow. Or the rejection easier to take.
At the time, I probably hadn’t thought much beyond getting into Lissa’s pants. Since then, though, I’d thought about her way more often than I had any reason to. I’d glimpsed the person behind that wall of ice; had a taste that left me wanting more.
I couldn’t go back to thinking about her the way I did before.
It was the rejection. Had to be. She’d dangled the carrot, then took it away, and now she had me yearning for shit I couldn’t have. Now she’d morphed into something unattainable—a girl I’d let slip through my fingers before I’d realized I might just want to hold on to her.
But considering she’d told me in no uncertain terms to fuck off—coupled with the fact she was heading out of state for the next few years—it would never happen. Might as well get it out of my head.
“You’re telling me nothing happened?” Riley’s voice cut through my introspection. “I know you guys kissed, and something happened at Liss’ party. Danny told me.”
Fucking Danny and his giant pie hole. My left hand joined my right on the back of the chair, and I lifted it, tucking it under the table before meeting Riley’s inquisitive stare. “No. I’m telling you nothing happened that we need to talk about.”
Her eyes narrowed, and she fit her hands on her slim hips with a short huff. “Fine. Don’t tell me. But you’re both idiots.”
I snickered and snagged the end of her hair, giving it a gentle tug. “Look, Lissa and me… it was… we weren’t… it wasn’t…” Fucking get to the point, jackass! “It would never have worked, okay?”
“Why?” she demanded, brows pinching together.