I leaned against the wall and smiled at the sound of his voice.
“I was wondering if we could meet to talk,” I said.
“About what?” he asked.
“The surrogacy procedure. Possibly before tomorrow morning?”
The phone call fell silent, and my gut clenched with nerves.
“What’s going on?” Andrew asked.
“There’ve been some new developments I think you should be aware of before we get into this.”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
/> “Kind of,” I said. “I’d like to meet with you and explain them in person, if that’s okay.”
“Talk to me now. What’s going on?” His voice was no longer soft. No longer reassuring. It was tense, slightly angry, a bit fearful. My gut plummeted to my toes at the sound of it.
“I’d really rather talk in person, Andrew.”
“That’s hard, considering I have a daughter I have to work around. Talk to me. You have my attention.”
“Andrew—”
“I hear the worry in your voice. What can I do to take care of it?” he asked.
I closed my eyes and sighed heavily into the phone. I didn’t want him to be any tenser than he already was, so I sucked up my want to see him and decided to tell him.
“Over the short time I’ve spent with you and your daughter, I feel like I’m getting too personally attached,” I blurted out.
I could hear him breathing, but he didn’t say anything.
“I’m worried that if I don’t treat this like a business deal that’s black and white, then I might, you know, get into emotional territory neither of us is ready for.”
“The dinner at my house was too much,” he finally said.
“I don’t want to make you feel bad, but I do want to be up front. I enjoyed our time together possibly a little too much, which could really muddle things going forward.”
“I agree, and I’m thankful you were honest with me about it before things went too far.”
“Too far?” I asked.
“I can’t have a woman who gets emotionally attached. I do hope you understand, but this is a business transaction. I don’t live a life that can accommodate a relationship.”
“I don’t—”
“I wish you the best, Heather. I’ll call the agency and let them know of the change in plans.”
Then, he hung up the phone and left me there, alone in a bar bathroom with his voice echoing in my ear. The best. He’d wished me the best.
My best would be a failing bakery that would shut down before the end of the month. My best would be three hundred thousand dollars’ worth of debt I’d never be able to shovel out from underneath. My best would be declaring bankruptcy and taking a job in a call center or something to barely make ends meet until I got fed up with everything and decided to move away. Or go back to school.
Tears crested my eyes as I slid my phone into my pocket.
My heart hurt. My soul hurt. My future was bleak, and my bakery was no longer salvageable, bt least I had an answer to my question. Too bad the answer hadn’t been worth what I’d risked in the process. I wished I’d never made that phone call because at least if I had my heart broken and gave my child up, I would have had my business to throw myself into.
Now, I didn’t have anything.