Bad Seed

The conversation fell silent and I knew the look Hank was giving me. I was trying not to mention her. Hell, I didn’t wanna even call her. But she was on my mind and in my thoughts. Every time I did open up to talk in the therapy session, she somehow worked her way into the conversation. I kept her and my sister in the forefront of my mind every damn day. Every time it got hard or I started thinking about how much I wanted a fucking drink, they were there.

“Honestly, I don’t know much, Drake. I fired her when you went off the rails.”

“I still need to beat your ass for the way you were talking to her,” I said.

“You heard us fighting?” Hank asked.

“Hell yeah I did. You were an asshole to her. She didn’t deserve any of that shit. You had no fucking reason to fire her out from under me.” “She didn’t do the job she was hired to do. At the very least, all she needed to do was get you back to the bus and keep you sober after performances. She couldn’t even do that,” he said.

“No one can fucking do that, Hank. Not even you. I’m dealing with this shit in here, but you put Delia in a situation she couldn’t win. That was fucked up.”

“Okay. Fine. I hear you. But could we at least focus on the fact that your stint in rehab is single-handedly rehabilitating your image? That’s it got you signing with Warner Bros. Record Company? That it’s bringing you into a light you haven’t occupied since your career fucking began?”

“I guess that’s a good thing, yeah,” I said.

“It’s a fucking great thing, Drake. You’ve got endorsement deals and concerts coming out your ears when you’re ready. You’ve got some time off initially, then you, Landon and Stone can all get back out on the road. Sold out concerts. Money as far as the eye can see. And that’s only with the music you’ve done so far.”

“Can we talk about something else? Like how the ranch is doing? You’ve stopped by, right?” I asked.

“Ranch fine. Paul’s got shit under control. He always does. He told me to tell you that one of the new heifers is already knocked up or something. Got a vet bill coming that’ll have to be paid.”

“Tell him whatever he needs, to put it on the card. I’ll pay it once I get out of here,” I said.

“Oh. There’s also someone else that wanted to come see you. Picked them up as I was coming here.”

I turned around in my chair and saw Tammy walking through the door. Elsie was at her side, her eyes darting around everywhere. I saw how uncomfortable she was and how deeply she was pressed into Tammy’s side, but the second her eyes connected with mine she took off running.

I got up from my chair and held my arms out for my sister as she barreled into my grasp.

“Drake,” she said, with tears in her eyes. “You’re okay.”

“I’m always okay, sis,” I said, as I rubbed her back. “I’m the big brother. It’s my job to be okay.”

It was the first time my sister had ever hugged me. If there was one thing she hated, it was people touching her. She always made the comparison to gravel. She didn’t like the feeling of being caged, of not being able to see the other person’s face. Reading faces was how she tried to decipher social situations, and not having that face in front of her made her even more uncomfortable.

But as she buried herself into my grasp, tears sprung to my eyes.

I held her for what seemed like an eternity. Twenty-two years of taking care of her and this was the first time she’d allowed me to hug her. I soaked in the moment before she backed away from me and tucked her emotions in.

A tear made its way down my cheek as she finally pulled away from me.

She stepped back to Tammy’s side and I drew in a deep breath. Elsie looked good, like she was eating and keeping herself out of trouble. Tammy lifted her hand toward me and handed me a bunch of mail, and I took it from her as I nodded in her direction.

“Things have been good. The bookstore gave Elsie another day to work, so she works Fridays as well as Saturdays and Sundays now.”

“They like my organization and my ability to recall where things are,” Elsie said. “Said I was an asset to their business.”

“That’s good,” I said, as I wiped the tear from my face. “I’m proud of you. Moving on up in a company is a good thing.”

“I just hope they don’t make me come to the front very often. I like it in the back. It’s quiet.”

“I’m sure they won’t make you do something like that,” I said. Regular donations to the place gave me the ability to check on how Elsie was doing. I made sure they were treating her exactly how Elsie would want to be treated, normal and like everyone else. She didn’t like people making exceptions for her or trying to make things easier on her because she was autistic. I made sure those standards were adhered to.

“There are a couple of bills in there as well as something from a record label. I figured you’d want it,” Tammy said.

“Thanks for bringing this,” I said.

“You can call in payments if you want. I’m not sure if you have computer access here, but you can do it there as well. I don’t have the authority to make these payments. Trust me, I’ve tried,” Tammy said.