Bad Seed

I guzzled a second one before my eyes dropped to the note on the table.

“What’s that?” Tammy asked.

I picked up the note as my eyes scanned the words.

Off work at five. See you at 5:30. Delia

“Shit,” I said.

She wasn’t here when I got home, but the truth was I hadn’t thought about her up until that point. I had been so immersed with what was going on with my sister that I hadn’t even called her last night to tell her I was staying over at the hospital. I sighed as I set my mug down, then shuffled into the living room to get Tammy a pillow and a blanket from the couch.

“You’d be stupid not to marry that girl,” she said.

I whipped my head over and saw Tammy standing in the doorway. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was playfully grinning in my direction. I straightened up and held out the pillow and blanket to her, watching her take them as she held them close to her body.

“She’s not here, but she’s coming back. She puts up with your shit. Supports you when you need it. Ain’t afraid to call you out on something. She’s marriage material. And if you can’t see it, someone else will.”

My gaze held Tammy’s hotly as she turned and walked back up the steps.

Marriage? Was she serious? I'd never considered getting married again, not after losing my first wife. It almost didn't seem right. Like I was betraying Shannon somehow. Besides, I’d only known her for three or so months, and we hadn’t even interacted for the whole of them. Yeah, she was pregnant. And yeah, we were trying to make that work. But that didn’t mean we were gonna get married. T

hat required so much more than just a baby. That required commitment. Respect. Trust.

Love.

Did I love her?

I looked up through the window and saw my reflection as the sun streamed through the glass. I looked myself dead in the eye and gave myself time to really answer that question. Did I love Delia? Was I in love with her? Or was I simply protective of the woman carrying my child?

I thought back to all the times I’d had her in my arms. Against my body. In this house rattling on about fuck-knew-what. I smiled at her ferocity and the way she was so damn stubborn. How graceful she looked on the back of Pixie and how entranced she had been by the simplicity of the lake.

It warmed my chest simply to think about her. And that was when I understood.

Yes. I did love Delia.

But was that enough? Was it enough for a recovering alcoholic that reminded her of her father to love her and want the best for her? Maybe she was looking for something more. Something different. Fuck. I hadn’t considered the idea that we might only be co-parents. That this whole relationship thing might not work out between the two of us.

I was lost in my thoughts for so long that I didn’t come to until Delia was coming through the front door.

“Brought dinner,” she said, with a grin on her face. “Is Elsie back from the hospital?”

I looked over at her, taking her in as she walked into the living room. She bent over to kiss me, her plump lips warm against my skin. They lingered a little longer than usual, and when she pulled away she nuzzled her nose against my jawline. I could smell the burgers and fries she had brought in from that wonderful place downtown.

I looked up into her eyes, taking her in as I leaned into the couch.

She came back.

“Yes,” I said. “Elsie’s back. Tammy, too. They’re upstairs sleeping.”

“Good. Come on. I’ll divvy up the food and you can pour the sweet tea,” she said.

I watched her walk away, her hips swaying in the wind as her little paunch sat just beyond her dress. She had on these cute little boots that shone with the sunlight as she turned to look at me. Her flowing blond hair and her dazzling eyes beckoned to me as I rose from the couch, her hand outstretched for mine as I took it. Our fingers intertwined slowly. Naturally. Like two lovers who had known each other for years.

I didn’t know if this was enough for her. But I knew one thing for certain.

It was more than enough for me.

CHAPTER 38