Bad Seed

“Do you want me to kill him?” she asked, her tone serious.

I laughed and threw her hand away from me.

“I’m serious!” she said. “I’ll do it. I have the shovel in my trunk already.”

“You’re insane.” I rolled my eyes.

“That may be true,” she said. “But I’m here. Whatever

you need.”

“I’m glad you came,” I said.

“You needed me.”

Her response was simple, but it spoke to the core of who Andrea was. She and I had been through everything together. From Kindergarten to college graduation. From weddings to funerals. It wasn’t a surprise that she knew what I needed better than I did.

“I’m glad I moved,” I said. “This place is going to be good for me. I went into town today, and it’s perfect. There’s this little coffee shop in the square that I could spend all day in. I’m going to get so much writing done here.”

“That’s amazing,” Andrea said. “Now that Dr. Assface isn’t holding you back anymore, you can finally get some real work done.”

I frowned. “Holding me back?”

I was angry and hurt by my break up, but I never thought of Joshua as someone who held me back.

“Oh, come on,” Andrea said. “You know he did. In the two years, you were with him, you barely wrote anything, Julie.”

“My career has been successful,” I said defensively. “I’ve had at least one article published every month since college. That’s pretty damn good.”

Andrea held up her hands. “Listen,” she said. “I’m not questioning your success, okay? But I’m not talking about your articles. As a journalist, you’re killing it. You always have.”

“Then, what?”

“Your book!” Andrea said with frustration. “The book you’ve been writing since high school. The book you’ve been stressing about and dwelling on for ten years. Remember that book?”

“Oh.” I blinked. “Right.”

“See?” Andrea said. “He was holding you back.”

“I don’t know if we can blame Joshua for that,” I said. “I let the book slide. That wasn’t his fault.”

“Do you remember what he told you after he read the first chapter?” Andrea asked.

I frowned again. I hadn’t thought about my book in so long. Honestly, I couldn’t remember the last time I even opened the file on my computer. But when Andrea asked that question, everything came flooding back.

Joshua and I were in his apartment. I’d just given him the first chapter to read. I sat on his couch, waiting for him to finish it. I was terrified to hear what he thought, but I was also excited to share something so personal with him.

When he was finally finished reading it, he turned to me with a kind smile.

“It’s juvenile,” I said with a shake of my head. Andrea’s face came back into focus. “He told me it was juvenile. The immature ramblings of a confused, scared little girl who hadn’t yet figured out what to do with her life.”

“Exactly.” Andrea nodded. “That was the first time I knew he was wrong for you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything then?” I asked.

“Would you have listened?” Andrea asked.

“Probably not.” I laughed and shook my head. “God, I was an idiot.”