Top Dog

“Amanda. Why don’t you come with us to the cabin? I can lay Lanie down to sleep, then we can talk on my couch,” he said.

“I don’t know. I only feel like crying.”

“Amanda,” he said.

I fluttered my watery gaze up to him as he sighed heavily.

“Just come back with us,” Brian said.

I grabbed my things and hopped silently into his truck. Lanie was already asleep in her car seat, which made putting her to bed easy for Brian. I sat on his couch, staring at the empty fireplace.

I must’ve zoned out because when I came to, Brian was next to me and there was a roaring fire warming my body.

“My mother was a drug addict and an alcoholic,” I said.

I felt Brian reach over and wrap my hand up within his.

“She wasn’t always that way, but when she caught my father cheating on her with her best friend, she fell into using to cope. She’d drop me off with my grandmother on the weekends so she could go party, but soon she couldn’t hold a job. We were bouncing around town, living with her bullshit friends and sleeping on couches. I called my grandmother one night when things got too rowdy, and she came and got me. I stayed with my grandmother more than I did my own mother, and soon my grandmother filed for custody of me.”

I felt Brian grip my hand tightly as tears rose to my eyes again.

“I watched how taxing it was for my grandmother to fight my mother for custody. How she had to fight her own daughter. All the proof she had to bring to the table and how much money she had to shell out for a private investigator. It beat her down, emotionally and mentally. These types of fights, they bring out the worst in people. My mother tried to paint my grandmother as an old, decrepit, useless woman who didn’t have the funds or the energy to keep up with a child. My grandmother was just trying to prove to the court that I was financially dependent on her and not my mother. It was hell, Brian. And it’s a hell I’m not willing to let Lanie live.”

“That’s why you’re so willing to help,” he said.

“Yeah. It changed me. Watching all of that changed me, and not for the better. I was angry as a teenager, and art was my outlet. It’s why I was so angry at Daryl all the time for calling my passion idiotic and silly. Because art literally saved me from my mother’s same wasted path.”

“He’s an asshole. You know that, right?” Brian asked.

“I do. I dated him in college because he was the first guy that had ever been interested in me. It was new and exciting, so I shrugged off his comments just to experience what it meant to be liked by a guy. But I found my confidence through my art and wasn’t willing to put up with his shit anymore. He wouldn't support my dreams, and he tried to turn me into someone I wasn’t.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you who are. Lanie and I happen to think you’re pretty great,” he said.

I smiled at him through my tears. “My interview didn’t go quite as planned.”

“Why did the interview not go as planned?” he asked.

“The gallery owner is looking to sell it, not have anyone showcase their stuff in it. And the more I stood in that place, the more I loved it. He asked me about my vision, and why I wanted to open my own gallery someday, and the more I talked about it, the more I wanted it. Badly.”

“Then buy it. Chase your dream, Amanda.”

“It’s not that simple. I don’t even have enough money to fix up the cabin and make it inhabitable. There’s no way I can afford to buy a gallery. I just feel like the walls are closing in on me. My grandmother was the one I would go to with my fears and my questions, and now when I need her most, I’m finally realizing that she’s truly gone. I feel so lost.”

Brian wrapped his arm around me, and I sank myself into him. His strength was comforting, and the warmth of his body cradled me perfectly. I cried into his chest as he pulled me into his lap, his hands rubbing up and down my back. It felt so good to talk. So good to get everything off my chest. I’d been so wrapped up in Brian and Lanie’s world that I had allowed it to replace mine.

My life was still crumbling around me, and I needed to acknowledge that so I could fix it.

“I’ll help you in any way I can,” Brian said. “Whatever you need, just ask.”

“Please hold me,” I said breathlessly. “That’s all I need right now.”

His arms threaded around my body and pulled me tightly against him. I could feel his muscles bracing for my body as my legs straddled his lap. I buried my face in the crook of his neck as he reached for something, then I felt a blanket being fluttered over our bodies.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to revel in the strength and warmth that Brian had wrapped me in, and finally fell asleep.

CHAPTER 24

BRIAN