Top Dog

“How did it go? Was it completely painful?” she asked.

“It had its moments, but I think Lily’s very excited to be starting her ‘big girl class.’”

“Oh. That girl is too precious. I love her so much.”

“So do I,” I said. “She’s a good kid.”

“No tears when you left her at school?”

“Only from me,” I said.

“Well, duh. I meant from her.”

“Nope. She took it like a champ. If anything, she was too eager to get rid of me.”

“Every girl always is at some point in time, but she’ll miss you before her lunch break comes around. And speaking of getting rid of things, you’ll never gue

ss how my night went.”

“If this is a segue into another Tinder date, I don’t want to hear this story,” I said.

“Trust me. It’s worth it. This guy I met off there took me across town to that cottage restaurant.”

“The one with the tables and lawn chairs on the front lawn? I like that place.”

“It’s got great food, but I don’t do eating outside,” she said. “But he was insistent. With the bugs. And the grass.”

“Damn those bugs and grass.”

“A beetle landed on my food, Cindy. A beetle. I didn’t even know those things could fly!”

“You didn’t know beetles have wings?” I asked. “Even Lily knows that.”

“Hey now, that girl knows a lot of things.”

“She’s like her dad that way,” I said.

“Freaky shit. Anyway. After I was done freaking out over the bugs, he wanted to take me back to his place. But I wasn’t down for it so he offered to take me back to mine.”

“Which you said ‘yes’ to because you always make sure you’re on your home turf,” I said.

“I’m teaching you well. Anyway, we get back to my place, and his hands are all over me. And I’m over here still freaked out by the beetle like it’s in my clothes and shit. Guess what the fuck happens next.”

“What?” I asked.

“A damn beetle comes flying through the cracked window of my living room and lands right on his fucking forehead.”

I bit back my laughter as utter disgust rolled over Nicole’s features.

“Oh my word. This is perfect,” I said.

“I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Right on his damn forehead. While he was coming in for a kiss. I smacked the thing right off him, and he thought I hit him intentionally.”

“Technically, you did.”

“He got all pissy at me, telling me how he wasn’t into that freaky shit, and I told him that was a deal breaker anyway because I fucking love that freaky shit.”

“I can’t handle you,” I said, giggling.