I bent over and picked it up, scanning the words written on the paper. As quickly as the joy from last night had ignited, it faded.
Please don’t tell anyone. I’m not ready for the questions yet.
I was a pariah, a secret to be held. I was ready to tell everyone and spend the week with her, showing her exactly the kind of man I could be. But I couldn’t blame her. It was clear how Ana felt about me judging from last night, no matter how much she wanted to bang my best friend. The last thing Chanel wanted to field was questions from that feisty woman, especially when she was on a ship and couldn’t get away.
I understood it, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.
I tore up the note and flushed it down the toilet. I looked at myself in the mirror, glancing at the welts on my chest. Chanel had been obsessed with it last night, biting it and suckling it, pulling groans from my throat. She paid my body all the attention in the world, and I fucking loved it.
I wondered if I could get her to do it again.
I grabbed the itinerary off the bathroom sink and leaned against the counter. There was a brunch for everyone going on right now, but I wasn’t hungry. I had a feeling Chanel didn’t want to see me anyway, so not going meant less of a chance of us running into one another. But, the ship had plenty of things I could do. It had a casino and a game room, a card lounge and a piano bar. There was the entire open deck that had pools and hot tubs and waterslides and shit. Plus, there was a floor with a gym, a full spa, and some steam rooms.
Unfortunately, a steam room meant exposing my chest, and that meant questions. So, the casino it was.
“Hey, Rhett,” Tommy said. “You in there? I gotta piss.”
“I’m about to hop in the shower. Hold on,” I said.
“Hurry up. I really gotta go.”
I turned on the shower and hopped in as Tommy came into the room. I washed myself off quickly and reached for a towel, wrapping it around my waist. I pulled on a shirt I found on the floor before I stepped out of the bathroom. The last thing I needed was Tommy asking questions, but when I found him pulling on clothes himself, I grimaced.
“What?” he asked.
“You're not going to shower after your nastiness with Ana last night?” I asked.
“Oh shit, do I have stories for you. And no. I plan on hitting up the hot tubs and shit. I’ll shower after that,” he said. “Where are you heading?”
“The casino. I figured you’d go with me,” I said.
“Oh, the casino. I could shower really quick if you want me to.”
“Nah. It makes sense, in a gross way. I’ll slip on my bathing suit and a shirt and head with you after we’re done losing our money,” I said.
The two of us got ready and headed down to the casino. We hit up a few machines and played a couple of card games, and I didn’t see Chanel anywhere. Even though Tommy lost two hundred bucks, I came away with sixty dollars. I figured it would be good tip money for when I eventually went to take advantage of the spa services they had.
I wasn’t into pedicures and shit, but a nice massage never hurt anyone.
“Okay, I’m over losing money. You ready to hit the deck and go scout out some women?” Tommy asked.
“Ready whenever you are,” I said.
I wasn’t in the mood to scout out anything, but I was keeping an eye out for Chanel. It did me no good to sit in my room and brood about the fact that I was a secret. I should’ve been used to that kind of shit. SEALs were always a secret. No one saw us coming, no one saw us leaving, and if they did, we never left them standing.
But this was different.
I didn’t want this to be a secret.
We walked around the pool as Tommy looked at the lovely ladies laying out. He was like some macho idiot from all those mobster movies, the guy who wasn’t cool but acted like he was. I rolled my eyes as women gave him nasty looks, chuckling to myself whenever they turned him down. He was going to get himself into proper trouble with someone on this ship, and I was going to be right here taking all of it in.
We wrapped around the ship and headed for the hot tub. It was massive and sat right next to the pool on the open deck. There were women lounging around and bartenders running drinks everywhere. It was a chaotic mess of coursing sexual energy.
As my eyes scanned the crowd, I found her.
Chanel. Lounging around. In a string bikini.
Holy shit, she fucking looked phenomenal. Her toned calves and her thick thighs rolled up into a flat stomach and a slim waist. Her breasts were moving with every breath she took, and her porcelain skin had the faintest kiss of a