Sin City Baby

all, for her or for the baby. I couldn’t help but secretly hope that the kid was mine, though I’d probably never know. We’d all kind of agreed to keep it a secret and just love it and Sam as best as we all could.

“Earth to Luke. You there?” Liam asked.

“Sorry. What were you saying?”

“Apparently nothing important. What’s on your mind?” he asked.

I finished off my fourth beer and motioned for another one.

“Good thing I drove,” Liam said, pointing at my bottle.

“You know, we’ve all got this—thing happening with Sam. But we’ve never really defined it.”

“You want to define it?” he asked.

“I mean, we say we care about her, but what does that really mean? Are we her friends? Her best buds? Her entourage?”

“I don’t think we’re an entourage,” he said with a chuckle.

“Then what are we? And if I’m thinking these things, I wonder if she is,” I said.

“What do you want to be to Sam?” Liam asked, pinning me with his gaze.

I put my fifth beer to my lips and chugged before the courage finally flooded my veins.

“I love her, Liam. I’ve loved her for a very long time. Watching her go through this, it tears me apart. I want to give her everything. I want to fix everything. The thing with her parents. This thing with the divorce. The baby. I want to be there, and it takes all I’ve got not to pick up the phone every morning and every night to call and see how she’s doing. Because no one will talk. We all just… dance around the damn topic.”

“I know,” he said.

“Which part?” I asked.

“All of it,” he said. “I know you love Samantha. I also know you don’t want to admit it because you know we all feel the same way about her as well.”

“We can’t all love her though, right?” I asked.

“Why not?”

“Because how would that even work?”

“Things are complicated, yes. But this isn’t about us right now. It’s about Samantha and the baby. She’s going through a hell of a time, and the last thing she needs is someone breathing down her neck about defining whatever all this is. She knows you care for her. Let that be enough for now until she can get her head on straight again.”

But I wasn’t sure Sam knew how I felt at all.

“I’m gonna call cab,” I said, finishing off my beer and putting the bottle on the bar top.

“I can take you home,” Liam said.

“No. I need to think for a while, by myself. I’ll probably end up just passing out on my couch anyway.”

“Just let me know when you get home, okay?”

I slid from my seat and hailed a cab, and before I knew it, I was rattling off Sam’s address instead of mine. The alcohol seeped into my mind. My blood. Filling me with a confidence I hadn’t felt in a long time. The cab pulled into the driveway, and I told the driver to stay. I had some things I wanted to say to Sam while I had the liquid courage to say them.

“Luke?”

Sam opened the door, and she looked more beautiful than ever.

“Oh, Sam,” I said.