“What?” I stammered.
“I've been offered an opportunity of a lifetime, but it requires me to live in Paris,” he said. “Come, live with me. Just the three of us. You, me and Grayson.”
He stepped closer to me, and I didn't step back. I froze, almost unsure if I'd heard him right. He literally caught me fucking his brother, and now he wanted me to move to Europe with him and be a family?
“Listen, I know you care about Evan and Jared too, but they will still be in your life. They're my brothers,” he said.
His hands reached out for me, and he took me by the shoulders. There was so much need in his eyes. So much longing. It was a desperate cry for love.
“I can't just up and move to Paris,” I said. “Not like that.”
“Think about it?”
I shook my head, trying to clear my head. “Gabe, I don't know where this is coming from.”
Then it hit me. In his mind, moving overseas would keep me away from Evan and Jared. It would keep temptation at bay. If he had me in Paris, we could be a family. “Listen, Hadley, I know you're confused,” he said, moving closer. This time, I took a step back.
“I'm not confused, Gabe. I know what I want. For the first time in my life, I realize that I don't want a monogamous life. I'm not cut out for that,” I said. “And moving me away to Paris isn't going to change that.”
His face fell as if I'd crushed every last hope and dream he'd ever had. I yearned to reach out and to hold him, to tell him everything would be alright. Yet, that was a lie. As long as I loved him and his brothers equally, and at the same time, it would never work. Gabe couldn't let go, couldn't visualize a life where I could be with all of them.
It wasn't fair for me to try and force it either.
This time, Gabe pulled away. He removed his hands from my shoulders, and his face went from someone who was hurting to someone who was filled with anger. I'd never seen a shift like that before, and before I could say another word, he was moving toward the door.
“Gabe, I'm sorry,” I said.
“Yeah, so am I,” he said as he slammed the door to the guest house.
I collapsed on the couch with my head in my hands, my insides hurting as I started sobbing. No matter what happened now, I'd ruined everything we had. Our friendship, the relationship between the guys – all destroyed because of me.
I heard the door open again, followed by the sound of footsteps. I didn't need to look up to see who it was. Both Evan and Jared were there, one on either side of me, comforting me.
Gabe would never forgive them either, I thought. If I continued the way I was going, they may never be close again. I could literally rip a family apart.
I shoved their hands off me and stood up.
“I need to get some air,” I stammered.
“I'll come with you,” Evan said, standing with me.
“No, I need to go alone,” I said.
I hurried from the guest house before either of them could argue, and I went straight for my rental car. My mother was watching Grayson, and honestly, I just needed to get away. I needed to clear my head. A drive through the mountains would be perfect.
I got behind the wheel of my car, and before long, I was driving through scenic mountain roads that were barely large enough for one car. I put on some music, playing it loudly, and screamed along with the lyrics. My heart had been broken, but worse than that, I'd hurt those I loved dearly.
The absolute worst, of course, was that one of them was the father of my child.
“Stupid, stupid girl,” I screamed at myself.
I slammed my hands down on the steering wheel in frustration and rage. I caught myself speeding and slowed down. I had no desire to hurt myself. After all, I had a child inside of me now too.
Breathe, I told myself. I fought back the tears, as hard as that was, and focused on the road instead. I made every curve smoothly and effortlessly. After all, I knew these roads like the back of my hand. This was my home. San Diego was nice for a few years, but Castle Creek was my home.
It's where I wanted to raise my children.
As the road twisted and turned, taking me higher and higher, I started planning for my future. Would Gabe go to Paris without me? My heart hurt to just think about being here without him, but I had to let him go. Whatever happened with me and his brothers, he deserved better. He deserved to be someone's one and only, if that's what he wanted. I couldn't give him what he needed, no matter how hard I tried. It would be a lie, and all three of them deserved better than that.