Sin City Baby

As if a psychic connection existed between us, Jenn looked over, saw me staring at her, and waved me over to her booth with a big smile on her face. When I walked over, her blonde bob bounced all around her face as she excitedly rushed from behind a table filled with cupcakes.

“Hailey, I'm so glad you could make it,” she cooed, her southern accent still strong as ever.

Her big, brown eyes were wide and full of joy as she hugged me tightly. Not much had changed in this podunk little town, but my best friend Jennifer – Jenn – Staples sure had. She'd grown up nicely and was no longer the awkward, chubby girl with the frizzy dishwater blonde hair and braces.

She still had a few extra pounds, but she'd grown taller and learned to dress for her shape. Now, her clothes were flattering, and she looked like a curvy little vixen, rather than the frumpy, shy loner she used to be.

After being away for as long as I had been, I almost didn't recognize her at first. Looking for the girl I'd left behind, I almost passed her table in the restaurant right up. I was looking for the chubby, awkward girl – not the blonde bombshell in designer heels she'd become.

She, of course, had recognized me right away. Even though I thought I'd changed a lot over the years too, her ability to recognize me made me question my newfound confidence in myself. I made me think that maybe, I was still the awkward, gangly girl everyone tended to overlook that I'd been when I left Black Oak – minus the glasses and acne, of course. My mousy brown hair was now darker with caramel highlights, and my skin was bronzed from living life in the California sun. I thought I looked like a whole new person, but the fact that Jenn had spotted me straight away made me wonder if maybe, I didn't actually look that different after all.

“I want you to meet someone,” Jenn said, yanking me back behind a cupcake booth that was festooned with ribbons, glitter, balloons, and a large sign that read, Jenn Drake's Cups and Cakes.

“I already know your husband, Jenn,” I laughed. “I went to school with him, remember?”

“Not him, but yes, you should say hi to him too,” she laughed. “Martin would like that and I'm sure he'd love to see you again.”

“Martin never liked me in high school, so I don't see why –” I stopped speaking though, when I saw where she was taking me.

Sitting in a chair directly behind her booth was her mother, whom I knew well, cradling a baby. Jenn's baby. Her mother looked up at me and gave me a warm smile. Sitting next to them though, was a toddler with blonde curls and brown eyes. She was staring back at me, trying to figure out who I was.

“I know you've seen them on Facebook, but I wanted you to meet my kids in real life, Hailey,” she said, holding my hand like she might not ever let go.

Her smile was stretched across her face and the light of pride in her eyes was brighter than the sun as we approached her mom and kids. It was hard not to feel happy for her – but I couldn't deny that pang of hurt and regret blossoming in my chest.

“I'm so happy you're here, Hailey,” she beamed “This is my daughter, Sophie, and my son, Martin Jr. We just call him Marty.”

I hoped the grin on my face looked a lot more real than it felt, the effort of maintaining it was hurting my face though. It wasn't because I disliked kids, but as I looked at Jenn's kids, so bright and beautiful, it felt like another part of my life had been torn away from me. Seeing the happy family together brought tears to my eyes, but not for the right reasons. “They're beautiful,” I said, squeezing my best friend's hand. “I'm so glad I finally got to meet them. And I'm so happy for you, hon.”

“Me too, Hailey,” Jenn said, pulling me into a tight bear hug.

And while she hugged me, I let myself revel in it, let myself forget about everything – forget about Leo, who was back in California, forget about moving back home and living with my parents, and forget about every horrible thing I'd endured over the last few years.

For the briefest of moments, it felt like no time had passed at all. Jenn and I were young again. We were best friends, by each other’s side, and celebrating in our shared awkwardness. The wave of nostalgia that washed over me was powerful. Almost overwhelming. And for that wonderful moment, all that existed was our love and friendship.

“I'm so glad you're back, sis,” she said to me, invoking the nicknames we once called each other, adding to the nostalgia enveloping me. “I know you always wanted to get away, but I'm so glad you came back. I have missed you so much.”

If only she knew the real reason I'd come back to Black Oak, maybe she wouldn't be saying that. But that wasn't something I wanted to share just yet. I needed to find a way to deal with it on my own, and to put it behind me. It was my pain, and in that moment, I couldn't share it with anybody.

Not even with my best friend.

***

“I can't believe you married Martin,” I said, taking a bite from a mocha cupcake topped with an amazing frosting and with Oreo crumbles. “Not that I dislike him, it's just so –”

“Strange?” Jenn laughed. “Yeah, I know. Believe me, I know. It's not like we got along back in high school either. But, people change, Hailey. We grow up, realize that the cliques in high school are bullshit and learn to just hang out with people we like, people that makes us feel good and happy.”

I shrugged. “I guess so,” I muttered, taking another bite from the heavenly cupcake, my eyes rolling back in my head, and making a sound probably best suited to an adult film. “I missed out on a lot, apparently. So what else has changed around here?”

“Not much, really. You know Black Oak – people are born, get old, and die,” Jenn shrugged, her laugh a little wry. She picked at a pink lemonade cupcake while nursing Marty. “Most everything you knew stayed the same. It's not all that exciting here. I mean, compared to your glamorous life in Cali and all.”

I scoffed. “Please, it wasn't so glamorous,” I said. “Far from it, actually.”

Jenn cocked an eyebrow as she licked the neon pink frosting from her lips. She looked at me evenly for a long moment and even after all these years, it was strange to me to know that she could still see right through me. She could see that there was something I was holding back from her – I could see it in her eyes.

“You still don't want to talk about why you came back?” she finally asked.

“Nope. Sure don't,” I said, leaning back in my chair.