The first time he told me he loved me, I wasn’t even expecting it.
“You won’t let me see my son because I took over my family’s business,” Romeo said.
“That’s correct.”
“Your side isn’t exactly innocent in all that’s gone on between our families,” Romeo reminded me. “The mafia has no bearing on whether or not I can see my son.”
“The maf
ia also has no bearing on me allowing my son in your presence. I’m not here on my own behest. I won’t put my son in the line of fire if I don’t have to.”
“Then on whose behest are you here?” Romeo asked.
I drew in a deep breath and closed my eyes.
“You have to understand where I’m coming from,” I said. “Matteo is precious. A boy full of curiosity and light. A life in the mafia—”
I opened my eyes and saw our waitress headed to our table. She placed our food in front of us, but I was no longer hungry. This was a mistake. If Romeo seeing Matteo was what Uncle Stefano wanted to use to bring peace, I couldn't make that happen.
Matteo wasn’t a bargaining chip.
I got peace. I enjoyed peace. I understood the need for it. But I couldn’t do it. As much as I wanted to support my uncle’s agenda, the mere idea of exposing Matteo to the world of the mafia immobilized me.
I couldn't do it.
“I had dreams, you know,” I said.
“Dreams of what?” Romeo asked.
“Of you coming back. Of me introducing you to your son. Of us running away together with Matteo and starting a new life.”
I panned my gaze over to his and watched him stab at his broccoli.
He was cool. Collected. Calm. Like the lifestyle he had chosen didn’t even bother him.
He was the father of my child and looking at him now made me want to cry.
“I’m so disappointed in you,” I said.
“I can see that,” Romeo said.
“I thought you were better than that. Than all of this. Did those late-night conversations mean nothing to you?”
“We were clueless children, Julia. You knew from the beginning my rightful place was where I’m sitting now.”
“Not when we were talking at two in the morning and you were professing your love to me. You serenaded me with lies about running off and being together. Lies I clung to. Lies that kept me going during the years we were apart. During the months I was pregnant. During the sleepless nights with Matteo and the screaming and the teething and the diapers and the constant fear that someone would make him a target.”
I looked around to see if anyone was listening.
“We’re safe,” Romeo said coolly. “I made certain you were looked after all those years we were apart.”
And that was when I became painfully aware of the position I had been put in. Not only was I with Romeo, but I was also with his goons. Men employed to protect him.
“What do you mean I was safe all those years?” I asked.
“I had to be certain of your safety. I had eyes and ears on you,” he said flatly.
“You mean you spied on me.” I said. “What now? Are your men going to stop me if I try to leave?”