“Do you want to start, or should I?” I asked.
“I’ve missed you,” Rhett said.
I almost dropped my wine glass as I choked on the sip I took.
“What?” I asked.
“No one was ever able to replace you and what we had. And trust me, I tried.”
“Uh-huh,” I said.
“Despite what happened between us, I loved you, Chanel. I know I hurt you as badly as I could have that night, and I’ve never really forgiven myself for it. I honestly don’t know how it happened, to tell you the truth. Maybe part of me knew you deserved so much better than I could offer you.”
I felt my jaw drop in shock as he turned toward me. I had no idea what to say. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? A few seconds ago, I was ready to hit him. I was ready to knock his world back into last week, so he would no longer be on this cruise. But now I was stunned, and his face was moving closer to mine, and soon, I could feel his breath on my lips, hovering there, pulsing like the fucking tease he was.
I stepped toward his body and closed the distance between us. My wine glass dropped to the ground, shattering at our feet. His arms covered my back, his strength soaking into my muscles as my hands threaded around his neck. The fire that sparked in my toes burned up my legs and took out my knees.
I collapsed against him as our tongues danced, and he held me to him delicately as if he were holding a pillow to his chest.
His hands were all over me, grasping my ass, running down my legs, and massaging my back as my hands cupped his neck. My fingertips slid down his back, and I groaned at the chiseled muscles they raked over. Our lips were swelling underneath the pressure as Rhett backed me against the ledge while the heat of the setting sun soaked into my skin.
Then, I opened my eyes and saw what was happening and pushed him back with my hands.
Not before I felt the strength of his chest give underneath my touch, however.
“I can’t do this,” I said breathlessly. “I— I can’t open this up again.”
“Chanel, I didn’t—”
“You spoke, and now it’s my turn,” I said.
Rhett backed up from me as I stood my ground and smoothed out my dress.
“You broke my heart that night,” I said. “I was so excited to spend the night with you, for real. But when I opened the door and saw you half-naked with that girl in your lap, I felt like I’d been punched in the chest. All the air left my lungs, and all you did was stare at me.”
He shook his head. “Because I couldn’t believe what was happening either, Chanel. I’ve carried that damn night with me ever since then. I knew I was drunk, but I didn’t think I was drunk enough to do what I did. In all honesty, I was a little afraid that night. We said we would pretend the week before had never happened and this would be our real first time. I guess I subconsciously fucked it up so you would see that you deserved better.”
I could feel his body heat radiating against me, and I couldn’t think straight. I watched as he backed up, and I slipped away from the balcony. I put some distance between us as his eyes followed me, the sun slowly setting below the water and cloaking us in darkness.
“You said I was too good for you.”
“You know it’s true,” Rhett said. “You were bound for Cornell and I was bound for the nearest factory. Joining the Navy was the only way out, but I wasn’t going to drag you along with me. You were going to be someone great. I would have only held you back.”
“You don’t know that, Rhett!” I said in frustration. “If you really thought I was so damn smart, you should have trusted me to make that decision for myself!”
“And what? Follow me all over the globe instead of getting an Ivy League education? Or going to college anyway and trying to stay together when I was half-way around the globe, facing death and danger every damn day? That wasn’t the life you deserved. It worked out for the best. You have to see that now,” he said.
I wrapped my arms around myself and paced the bow for a few minutes. He was right about one thing, if he’d never have cheated, I would have followed him anywhere. I shook my head and closed my eyes, taking in a deep, shaking breath.
“I’m so proud of you and of everything you’ve accomplished,” Rhett said.
“I do more than just the blog, you know,” I said.
“I know. I kept tabs on you.”
“What?” I asked.
“I wanted to know how you were doing. Had to see if life was treating you as well as you deserved. I needed to know you were happy and that fucking up the best thing that had ever happened to me at least gave you the success you deserved. I had a drink in your honor when you got that internship with The New York Times.”