I was angry and hurt by my break up, but I never thought of Joshua as someone who held me back.
“Oh, come on,” Andrea said. “You know he did. In the two years, you were with him, you barely wrote anything, Julie.”
“My career has been successful,” I said defensively. “I’ve had at least one article published every month since college. That’s pretty damn good.”
Andrea held up her hands. “Listen,” she said. “I’m not questioning your success, okay? But I’m not talking about your articles. As a journalist, you’re killing it. You always have.”
“Then, what?”
“Your book!” Andrea said with frustration. “The book you’ve been writing since high school. The book you’ve been stressing about and dwelling on for ten years. Remember that book?”
“Oh.” I blinked. “Right.”
“See?” Andrea said. “He was holding you back.”
“I don’t know if we can blame Joshua for that,” I said. “I let the book slide. That wasn’t his fault.”
“Do you remember what he told you after he read the first chapter?” Andrea asked.
I frowned again. I hadn’t thought about my book in so long. Honestly, I couldn’t remember the last time I even opened the file on my computer. But when Andrea asked that question, everything came flooding back.
Joshua and I were in his apartment. I’d just given him the first chapter to read. I sat on his couch, waiting for him to finish it. I was terrified to hear what he thought, but I was also excited to share something so personal with him.
When he was finally finished reading it, he turned to me with a kind smile.
“It’s juvenile,” I said with a shake of my head. Andrea’s face came back into focus. “He told me it was juvenile. The immature ramblings of a confused, scared little girl who hadn’t yet figured out what to do with her life.”
“Exactly.” Andrea nodded. “That was the first time I knew he was wrong for you.”
“Why didn’t you say anything then?” I asked.
“Would you have listened?” Andrea asked.
“Probably not.” I laughed and shook my head. “God, I was an idiot.”
“No,” Andrea said. “You were in love. You wanted to believe he was a good man, that you weren’t wasting your time. You wanted to believe in him. That doesn’t make you an idiot.”
I nodded and closed my eyes. Andrea wrapped her arm around my shoulders while the reality of my situation sunk in.
This house was my new home. I left Dallas. I moved to Ennis. I was finally, after two years, breaking free from the hold Joshua had on me.
A surge of freedom crept up inside me. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut for a second before opening them again. Andrea was right. Joshua spent two years holding me back from being the person I wanted to be. When he dumped me, he was just setting me free. And now, I could do anything with that freedom.
CHAPTER 2
Michael
He may be a dick, but he’s my brother.
“So,” Josh said. He took a long swig of his beer and then turned to face me. “What kind of trouble are you getting yourself into in Dallas?”
I shrugged. “I told you. I just needed to get away from the office. Get into the city for a couple of days.”
“Work stressing you out?” Josh asked.
“No.” I shook my head. “Not any more than usual. Besides, can’t I just want to see my big brother?”
Josh snorted and took another drink. He knew I was full of shit. In the past few years, we’d gotten closer, but we still weren’t best friends. We were brothers, but we didn’t grow up together. I was adopted as a baby and, while Josh always knew about me, we didn’t meet until we were both adults.