The Better Brother

I planned to drive straight to Michael’s house after dinner. After I heard what Joshua had to say, I would tell Michael everything. I didn’t want any secrets between us, but I also knew I needed to deal with Joshua before things could progress with Michael.

With my hands still trembling, I shoved open my car door and made my way inside. I stuffed my hands into my coat pockets when I saw Joshua sitting at a table in the back. The last thing I needed was for him to see me shaking.

“Hey,” I said when I stepped up to the table.

“Hi.” Joshua smiled and jumped up quickly. He moved toward me as if he wanted a hug, but I sank into my chair before he could reach me.

I was willing to talk to him, but I wasn’t willing to hug him like nothing ever happened between us. Joshua’s face fell but he quickly recovered and sat back down. His smile was familiar and sweet. He looked like he was genuinely happy to see me, which was not what I’d been expecting. Not after all the ugly accusations he’d hurled at me the other night.

“Thank you for coming,” Joshua said. “I didn’t think you would.”

“Neither did I,” I said honestly. “But you said you wanted to talk.”

“I do,” Joshua said with a nod. “Let’s order first.”

“Okay.”

Our waiter came over a few minutes later. We ordered our food and then fell into an uncomfortable silence. Joshua stared at my face, barely looking anywhere else. My eyes scanned the room slowly. I found it hard to meet Joshua’s gaze.

“So,” I finally said. “Tell me. What did you want to talk about?”

“I still love you.”

Joshua’s confession was blunt and unapologetic. I jerked my head up and stared at him in disbelief. His dark blue eyes were the exact shape and color as Michael’s. I didn’t know how I’d missed it before.

“You’re not serious,” I scoffed.

“Of course, I am,” Joshua said. His voice was soft and gentle. He leaned forward, resting his hands on the table. “I still love you, and I think we made a huge mistake when we broke up.”

“You dumped me,” I said firmly. “We didn’t break up, Joshua. You dumped me without a second thought.”

“That’s not true,” Joshua said. “I was torn. Ending things with you was the hardest decision of my life.”

“Then, why did you do it?” I asked boldly. “If it was so damn hard, why do it at all?”

“Because…” he said, trailing off slowly. “I thought it was for the best. My life became so hectic and insane. With my residency starting, I just thought it would be better if I let you go.”

“That’s bullshit,” I said.

“It’s not,” Joshua said. “It’s the truth.”

“Well, it doesn’t work that way,” I said. I was so angry that my vision was blurry. “You can’t just come crawling back after I’ve moved on and expect me to jump at the chance to be with you again.”

“Moved on?” Joshua asked with a laugh. “You mean, my brother?”

“Look,” I said. “I’m sorry if it’s weird for you. Okay? It’s weird for me too. And for Michael. But I really like him.”

Joshua glared and sat back in his chair. All the kindness vanished from his face. Suddenly, he was the same Joshua I remembered. The same guy who broke my heart into a thousand pieces and then sent me on my way.

“You don’t even know him,” Joshua said.

“That’s not true,” I said. “We may have only known each other for a short time, but I do know him. We have a connection and—”

“A connection?” Joshua scoffed. “Julie, you and I have two years’ worth of history. We were in love. We practically lived together. We had a real relationship. You and Michael, you don’t have anything.”

“It’s new,” I said. “But that doesn’t mean it isn’t real.”

“And you think he feels the same way?” Joshua asked. “You really believe he cares about you?”