“I can’t believe this…” Andrea trailed off, shaking her head in disgust. “I really thought he was a good guy. He seemed to care about you so much.”
“They all do at first,” I said. “Then, they pull something like this, and we finally see who they really are.”
Andrea nodded, but she didn’t seem convinced. If anything, she looked more skeptical than ever. When she opened her mouth to speak again, I gave her a warning look. I didn’t need anyone to defend Michael tonight. No explanation could possibly be good enough for what he did. After days of not speaking to each other, after lies and secrets, we were finally going to move forward. We were all set to start over and then he stood me up and ruined everything.
“What should we do tonight?” Andrea asked. “Drinks? Food? Movies?”
“All of the above,” I said. I smiled gratefully as Andrea sprang into action.
She went into the kitchen to grab us each a beer. Then she ordered a pizza and fired up Netflix. We browsed through the movies for a long time, laughing at the ridiculous titles and storylines. After we finally chose a movie, the pizza arrived. We were each three beers in already.
Drinking wasn’t the answer to all my problems, but for one night, it certainly helped numb the pain. Every time Michael popped into my head, I took a swig of my beer to push him away again. It wasn’t until Andrea and I were both drunk and full on pizza that I couldn’t fight the thoughts any longer.
I saw his face in my head, smiling at me with those dark blue eyes locked on my face. He was walking toward me, his fingers outstretched. When he touched my face, I could have sworn he was real. It felt like he was in my living room, stroking my cheek and leaning in for a soft kiss. Our lips touched, and just like that, reality settled in around me.
I shook my head and groaned as I laid back on the floor. Carpet fibers dug into the skin on my arms, but I didn’t care. My body was full of alcohol and misery. I barely felt a thing.
Andrea laid down beside me and held my hand. The world spun around us, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before we both passed out. Still, I wasn’t ready to succumb to sleep. Not yet. There was still something I had to do while I felt courageous and bold.
“I’m going to call him again,” I said. I sat up to search for my phone.
“You already did that,” Andrea said. “Remember?”
“Only when I was sober,” I said. “I haven’t drunk called him yet.”
“That’s a good thing,” Andrea said. Her eyes swam as she tried to focus on my face. “Drunk calls are never a good idea, Jules.”
“That’s not true,” I said firmly. “Alcohol makes you confident. Strong. I need to say some things to Michael while I still feel this way.”
“You’re going to regret it,” Andrea said.
“I won’t.”
I didn’t know if Andrea was right or if I was, but I didn’t care. At that moment, I only had one thought running through my head: Michael. He needed to know just how badly he hurt me. He needed to know how badly he screwed up tonight. This, unlike everything else, was unforgivable. My heart was in pieces on the floor and, still, Michael hadn’t bothered to call me back or send me a text. I was done with him, and he needed to know that.
“Oh look,” I said. “My phone.”
I lunged across the floor to grab it. When I unlocked the screen, I noticed that my fingers felt heavy. What I didn’t remember was that I’d already drunk dialed Michael once that night. I didn’t leave a message, but I tried to call him while Andrea was in the bathroom. Now, though, I didn’t care if Andrea listened. I didn’t care if the whole world listened. I was calling Michael; consequences be damned.
“Are you sure about this?” Andrea asked. She was still lying on her back, staring blankly at the ceiling.
“I’m sure.”
I dialed Michael’s number and pressed the phone clumsily to my ear. It went straight to voicemail. Michael’s deep voice filled my ears. My stomach tightened. Even his voice was sexy. I hated myself for thinking it, but I couldn’t help it.
“Michael!” I said after the beep. “You still haven’t called me. What the fuck? After everything you’ve already put me through, you’re just going to stand me up? Is this a joke or something? Are you and Joshua sitting together at some bar, laughing at my expense? ‘Oh, that stupid Julie! She actually thought I would show up tonight
! What an idiot!’”
I paused to hiccup. My throat burned from the remnants of the alcohol I drank that night, but I pressed on.
“Well, I am an idiot,” I said. “I’m an idiot to believe that you ever cared about me. I thought you lied because you liked me, but you didn’t. You lied because you’re a liar and nothing more. You’re just a lying liar asshole like your brother, and I never want to see you again. Ever!”
Andrea snorted beside me. She was right, I was starting to ramble. I sounded ridiculous, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t done yet.
“Don’t call me,” I said. “Don’t come by. Don’t even try to see me. You lost your chance. I gave you a second chance, and you fucked it up, so just stay away from me. For good.”
I hung up and immediately toppled over backward. Andrea laughed at my clumsiness, and soon, I was roaring with laughter right along with her. We rolled on the floor, both red in the face and beyond drunk. It wasn’t until the next morning that I realized what I’d done.