Lila continued, “Fine, there aren't going to be any strippers,” she said. “At least none that I know of.”
I groaned. “That you know of?”
“Calm down,” she said. “It's a cruise,” she said. “Just a little sail on the ocean. Harmless as it comes, right?”
“Maybe?” I bit my lip.
I hated that my best friend would be paying for me to go on a cruise. She had that kind of money, sure, but it still didn't feel right. Cruises weren't cheap, and I wasn't the kind of woman who was comfortable taking handouts.
“Listen, Lila, I appreciate it. But I really don't want you—”
“Shush. It's too late anyway,” she said. “I've already paid for the tickets and it's non-refundable. So, you're going on this cruise with me, whether you like it or not. I have a feeling, though, that you're going to end up liking it a lot.”
“I have classes,” I argued.
“It's during Spring Break,” she said. “I already made sure of it. Relax, Josie. I got you covered. I took care of everything.”
“My mom's chemo, though—”
“I've already called your sister, she's going to be there for your mom,” Lila said. “You literally have no excuse. None. Like I said, I took care of everything. Including, anticipating every excuse you'd throw up not to go and making sure it was covered.”
Lila laughed on the other end of the line, knowing she had me in checkmate. I wracked my brain, trying to come up with something, anything, that would get me out of going. But, like she said, she'd already taken care of everything. Dammit.
“You called Amy?” I asked.
“I did. Right before I booked the tickets,” Lila said, sounding rather pleased with herself. “She's coming into town the day before we leave, so you can give her all the info she needs—”
“You're paying her to visit with our mom,” I said, a statement, not a question. I knew my sister too well. “Please tell me you're not paying her for this.”
I felt sick to my stomach at the mere idea that she'd pay my sister to stay with our mother. And the fact that Lila
would go that far upset me greatly.
“No, silly. I'm not paying her, so don't get your panties in a bunch,” she said. “I just mentioned that you don't have much time left with your mom, and you both need to make the most of it.”
“So you guilted her into it?” I shook my head. “Not much better.”
“Why not? It's true,” Lila said. “Amy should spend time with your mother. You don't know how much time you have left with her, and—”
“My mom is going to pull through,” I whispered, my voice catching in my throat.
Lila's voice softened. “Of course she is, sweetheart. I'm just saying, she's not getting any younger, and if my mom were still around, you bet I'd spend every waking minute with her if I could.”
Lila's mother had died about ten years back in a car accident. Sometimes her life seemed so perfect that it was easy to forget that her stepmom wasn't her real mom.
“I'm sorry, Lila,” I said.
“It's all good,” she mumbled.
She kept the emotion out of her voice, forcing herself to sound upbeat, but I knew it wasn't actually “all good” with her. Lila was never okay when it came to talking about her mom. It was a wound that, even a decade later, was still raw to the touch for her.
“But it worked. Amy is coming into town and you and I will be embarking on a little birthday adventure,” she said. “That's all that matters.”
“I don’t know,” I hemmed and hawed.
“Come on, Josie. It'll be fun,” Lila said. “And girl, you need a vacation more than anyone I know. You need to get out of this place for a while just to detox from it. And I bet that you find with a little time away, a little time to clear your head and actually have a little fun enjoying your life, you won't feel so burned out.”
She was right. I was worn out from burning the candle at both ends for so long. Most days, I felt exhausted from going to school full-time and being at the hospital the rest of the time. I couldn't remember the last time I got a full night's sleep.