The subtle insult didn’t slip past Penny’s attention, and she looked up to smile at me. Anger radiated from Dylan, but Nikki placed a soothing hand on his forearm when he glared at me.
“Let’s talk about something else,” she said. “Find any good men here, Penny?”
Penny’s cheeks reddened at that. I swallowed the nagging guilt in my throat when Nikki looked at me expectantly for an answer. Yes, me. It’s me, Nikki. What do you think about that? I forced those thoughts away, though, before they could come spilling out of my mouth.
“No one,” Penny said. “Can we talk about something else? Something that doesn’t involve my love life?”
Nikki shrugged as she swept Alyssa up into a conversation, then. The rest of dinner passed by in a series of awkward questions while Penny kept her gaze fixated on her plate, refusing to look in anyone’s direction. It was vividly clear that she was uncomfortable, but Nikki paid little attention to it. She was clearly more interested in her own agenda than the comfort of her only daughter. It made me angry on Penny’s behalf. This was not the Nikki I had known all those years ago.
I paid for dinner before Nikki could retrieve her wallet, and I rose from my chair quickly because I wanted to get as far away as possible from the situation. The guilt licking at my insides was enough to chase away my appetite. I hugged Nikki goodbye as Penny climbed into the passenger seat with Alyssa behind her.
“I can never do anything right these days,” Nikki said with a sigh. “I came all the way out here to make amends, to spend some time with her, but she barely even spoke a
word to me.”
“I’m not sure, Nikki. It might be something she doesn’t want to talk to you about yet.”
The answer appeased her a little bit as she took ahold of Dylan’s hand. They both nodded at me as a taxi cab arrived to take them back to their hotel.
“I’ll come by tomorrow,” Nikki said. “If that’s all right with you? I’m only here for a few days.”
“That’s fine,” I said, even though a part of me wanted to tell her no. “I’ll be in touch. Have a good night, both of you.”
It wasn’t until we arrived back at the condo that I turned to look at Penny while she hung up her coat on the coatrack next to the door.
“I don’t like that guy,” I said. “What the fuck is his problem?”
“Yeah, he’s creepy,” Alyssa added with a frown. “You never mentioned that to me before, Penny. He kept staring at you.”
“I don’t know,” Penny said, rubbing at her arms. “He’s always been weird toward me, and I’ve made it clear that I don’t like him at all.”
Alyssa turned to look at me, then. “Do they have to come over tomorrow, too?”
“Well I can’t exactly keep Nikki from her daughter, unless Penny tells me that’s what she wants,” I said, sighing. “Where are you going?” I asked, as she was turning to go again.
“To meet up with Scott for an hour,” Alyssa said, tightening her scarf while I slid out of my own coat. “He drove all the way over here to see me. Romantic, huh?”
She opened the front door and disappeared with a cheerful wave in our direction. I looked over at Penny, who chewed on her bottom lip in contemplation as she looked over at me. The discomfort in her eyes faded away slightly, but now that we were alone for at least an hour, I wanted to take the time to talk to Penny alone. I held out a hand for her to take.
“Come with me,” I said. “I want to show you something.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN – PENNY
After that fucking awkward dinner, I didn’t hesitate to take hold of Gabriel’s hand when he offered it to me. He grabbed both our coats from the coatrack and pulled me out through the front door. He led me down the hallway in the direction of the stairwell, pulling me up the cold concrete steps to another door.
I relished in the feeling of Gabriel’s hand in mine. It felt so strong and comforting, which was exactly what I needed. Throughout the entire dinner, I’d been forced to suffer silently while Dylan eye-banged me. The dirty fucker had no shame at all. He stared at me greedily, not even bothering to hide his infatuation with me. And why should he hide it? My mother seemed completely oblivious to her boyfriend’s creepy leering.
For whatever reason, she had a serious blind spot when it came to Dylan’s wandering gaze. Maybe she truly didn’t notice, or maybe she was so deep in denial, no amount of disgusting gawking would register in her brain. I felt kind of sorry for my mother, she was beyond pathetic over with this guy, and she had no idea he was just interested in her for her wealth. If he loved her back, there was no way he’d look at me the way he did, especially when she was sitting right next to him.
Just being around him made me feel dirty. I’d tried so hard to get away from him over this break, but my troubles at home found a way to follow me all the way out here to Chicago. The only consolation I had after a night like that was being here with Gabriel. He was a real man, and when he looked at me, all the horrible feelings melted away, replaced with a warm fuzzy feeling that felt like more than simple attraction.
Gabriel pushed the door open and coaxed me forward, out of the building and into the night. A chilly blast of icy air greeted me, followed by the thick cloud cover and a trickle of snow.
The city lights were hazy in the distance as Gabriel led me along the snowy rooftop to the edge. A wave of vertigo washed over me as I looked down at the world far below us. Gabriel noticed my balance faltering, and he slipped behind me and wrapped his hands around the curve of my waist to hold me steady. It felt good to have his strong arms around me. It felt safe.
We both gazed down at the snow-clad city full of Christmas lights and cheer. The tension that had been circulating through my system faded away with the sensation of Gabriel’s firm body pressed up against mine. I could feel his hot breath against the side of my neck as he rested his chin on the top of my shoulder.
My eyes closed of their own accord as I tried to fight the rest of my emotions. I didn’t know what to think anymore when it came to how I felt about Gabriel. All I knew was that his kiss and his touch felt amazing, and I also loved the comfort and protection I felt in his presence. Despite how right it felt to be with Gabriel, I knew it was wrong. Nothing could ever last between the two of us, even if we wanted it to. Our age difference was too much for other people to accept, and even if that wasn’t an issue, we had completely separate lives. And more importantly, neither one of us wanted to risk losing Alyssa by engaging in a serious, public relationship.