“I know, but God Penny, I don’t know if I can give you up.”
I smiled as I pulled my skirt down over my legs. I felt the same way, but I was still so conflicted. I knew that I was falling for him, but was his love worth devastating my best friend.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asked, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear.
“No,” I assured him. “I’m fine. I think it’s a good idea to get back downstairs before someone comes looking for us, though.”
“You’re right. It’s cold up here too. Hold on.” He reached out to grasp me by the elbow to gently pull me back into him. “I just want you to know that we—”
The door to the rooftop opened suddenly. We jerked back in surprise to find Alyssa standing there, hurrying over the snowy rooftop with worried eyes landing on where stood.
“There you two are!” she exclaimed, huddled against the cold wind. “Someone mentioned they saw the both of you come up here. What the hell are you two doing?”
My heart raced as I pulled back from Gabriel completely to avoid suspicion. I started across the slick ground in Alyssa’s direction. If we hadn’t finished a few minutes ago… The thought dashed through my mind uneasily while I listened to Gabriel’s footsteps crunch in the snow behind me. I couldn’t keep doing this anymore, not if it meant risking my friendship with Alyssa. “He wanted to show me the view from the rooftop,” I said, breezing by her into the stairwell. “I’m cold. Let’s get back to the room to warm up.”
I felt Alyssa’s gaze resting on my back as I hurried down the stairs. The bright lights of the hallway nearly blinded me when I pushed the door open. I didn’t wait for either one of them as I hung up my coat and ventured down the hallway quickly to the privacy of my guestroom. I kept the door cracked open, though, because I knew closing it shut would only bring more attention.
A few minutes later, Alyssa slipped through the crack in the door. She didn’t close it all the way, a sign that she didn’t intend on staying long. She looked down at me where I sat on the bed, her expression unreadable. I steeled myself for the inevitable accusation that I was fucking her father behind her back. When she spoke, I could barely hear her over the sound of my jackhammering heartbeat.
“Is everything okay with you?” she asked. “I know that dinner was a bit rough with your mom and Dylan.”
I nodded, relieved that she hadn’t asked me about her father. “Yeah, I’m ok. I just don’t like being around either of them.” “Penny,” she said firmly. I stopped to look at Alyssa as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I want to make sure that you’re truly okay, you know? I didn’t like the vibes that Dylan was giving off. My dad even noticed it.”
I turned my back on Alyssa while I swallowed the lump in my throat. Seeing him for the first time in a few months only deepened the weird feeling I got whenever he was around. I didn’t like the way his eyes lingered on me or the comments he directed at me. He was always right on the edge of the line of what was appropriate, but he never crossed it, so I could never call him out on anything.
I didn’t want him around at all, but my mother was determined to keep him around at all costs. No matter what I said. She had made that clear when I told her about the excessive phone calls and messages coming from her phone when it wasn’t her. It was clearly him, even though she refused to admit it.
“I’m fine,” I said, and turned to look back at Alyssa with a forced smile. “It doesn’t matter anyway, because they are going to be leaving in a few days. Tomorrow will probably be the last time that we even see them.”
I hoped at least. I didn’t want either one of them lingering throughout the rest of my winter break, just because my mother had a blind hope that I would change my mind and come home.
“I just wanted to make sure,” Alyssa said. “Get some rest. We’ll go do something fun tomorrow afternoon. Maybe head to another museum or he mall. Whatever you want to do, once your mom leaves.”
I nodded mutely as Alyssa retreated from of my room. Guilt gnawed at the pit of my stomach. No matter what happened, I couldn’t shake the feeling of Gabriel still clinging to every bit of my being. I could still smell him lingering on my clothes when I shrugged out of them. He was a part of me in every single way now, but having him would come at a cost.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN – GABRIEL
What the hell am I doing to myself?
I ran an exhausted hand over my aching eyes while I paced the confines of my bedroom. I could hear Alyssa and Penny’s voices coming down the hallway from the kitchen while they enjoyed their morning coffee. I couldn’t bring myself to go out just yet. I wasn’t ready to face either one of them.
Last night, I had caved in. Again. I had told myself that being with Penny one time was more than enough to keep me sated for the rest of my life, but clearly, one time wasn’t enough for me. I wanted more. I wanted her. All the damn time. We were crossing too many lines now; dangerous lines. I knew that Penny respected Alyssa with every fiber of her being. Penny didn’t want to lose her best friend by starting up a relationship with me. Not that we could even call it a relationship. We hadn’t had a chance to discuss what the hell was going on between us. Every time we tried, we were either interrupted or ended up fucking.
We had to put a stop to this. It couldn’t keep going on because Alyssa was bound to find out sooner, rather than later. My daughter was no fool. She already suspected that
something was going on, but lucky for me, she didn’t have any idea what it was.
I hated lying to my daughter. Sure, I’d always kept my personal life private from her. She didn’t need to know what her father got up to with random women, just like I really didn’t want to know details about her dating life. But this situation was entirely different. I wasn’t hooking up with some random chick. I was fucking my daughter’s best friend, which would ruin her if she found out.
I just needed to end things completely, but I couldn’t control myself when it came to Penny. The woman had a hold on me like no other woman had in the past, and I didn’t quite understand why. Penny was gorgeous, of course, but I’d been with plenty of beautiful women before. So, it wasn’t just the physical attraction that kept me coming back to Penny. There was something else, something deeper that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. But I desperately wanted to explore things further with Penny so I could find out.
Penny was right, though. If we kept letting ourselves give in to temptation because we both wanted to, it was only a matter of time before we would get caught and then, things would explode in my face. But even though I knew that, I was compelled to keep pursuing her. My time with Penny would be over before I knew it. Winter break for both of them would come to an end soon, and that only added to my desire to get closer to Penny before she left, probably for good.
It was one fucked up situation, and I had no idea how to resolve it. Having Nikki Lewis, a once-close friend, coming over in a few hours didn’t help matters, either. After she trusted me to watch over her only daughter, I didn’t know how I was going to face her again.
And that prick of a boyfriend that kept staring at Penny the entire time during dinner.
My fingers clenched into fists at the thought. Not once had he really paid much attention to Nikki sitting next to him. His gaze had been focused entirely on Penny, who seemed very uncomfortable with the attention. It was like Dylan felt relieved to be around her again and that only made the alarm bells in my head ring louder. Something wasn’t right about the younger boy toy that seemed to follow Nikki around for one specific reason—to get close to Penny.