The Better Brother

I felt the shaking of the truck as the wheels carried me up the mountain and I finally started to breathe a sigh of relief. I knew that the moment I hit the thicket of trees ahead of me, no one would be able to see me. No one could ask me questions or stare at me like I was losing my mind. No one could try to make small talk or try to figure out what I was doing in town.

No one could hear me scream myself awake or cry in the shower when I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I felt my truck being swallowed by the shadows of the trees and my entire body relaxed.

It was done. I was done.

No more people until the winter was over.

Chapter 4

Whitney

I lay on my air mattress, my mind whirling. It had been a month since I’d quit my job and, while I wasn’t hurting for money, I was hurting for a purpose. I slept until noon, got up long enough to grab an apple, pee, and then I’d crawl back into bed and feel sorry for myself.

My entertainment for the day was watching my clothes swing in my closet with the breeze coming through the window that wouldn’t quite shut while I fell in and out of sleep.

But then my phone rang.

I groaned, rolling over on the mattress that needed to be blown up again. I picked up the phone and put it to my ear, not bothering to see who was calling.

It couldn’t be anyone else but her.

“What’s up, Gwen?” I asked.

“Get your ass out of bed and get down to this salon,” she said.

“Why, are you okay?” I asked.

“Because I just finished my last client before lunch and I’m about to go to the bank. We’re having a celebratory lunch.”

“In the salon?” I asked.

“Yes. It’s gotta be quick but I’m making the final deposit into my ‘get my own business’ account.”

“Oh my gosh. Gwen, that’s amazing!”

“It is, so roll your ass out of bed and get down here. Whitney, you have a fucking law degree. You shouldn’t just now be warming up your voice to talk to the world at lunchtime. Get up.”

“Okay, okay. I’m coming. I’ll be there in… twenty minutes?” I asked.

“Make it thirty. Take a damn shower, girl.”

I hung up the phone and scrambled to the bathroom. This was my life now, living vicariously through my best friend. She had a goal and, now, she was taking another massive step toward that goal. I couldn’t be happier for her. I figured if I watched her succeed long enough, I’d know what the hell to do with my life. I’d know where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do.

But as I got myself dressed and drove over to her salon, all I could think about was the last time I’d actually stepped out of my apartment.

And I really couldn’t remember.

I drove through town and had to put on my sunglasses. Even though the sun wasn’t bright, it was hurting my eyes. That was how long I’d cooped myself up in that dingy old apartment. The sun, even on half blast, w

as killing my eyes. I drove through my favorite coffee place and got myself a strong cup, then floored it over to the salon. I couldn’t wait to swing my arms around my best friend and congratulate her on this massive step in her life.

All of a sudden, I wanted to go building shopping with her.

“Girl, I hope you didn’t bring me any,” she said. “Shaky hands and sharp scissors don’t mix.”

“Nope, just me,” I said, grinning.