My body ached for him, but I was also a virgin. I had no idea what to do with my hands as he kissed me. And as stupid as I felt, I had no idea how to get from kissing to doing more. So, I did the only thing I could think of and reached down for his belt and started removing it.
“Wait a second,” he said, pulling my hands back.
He was laughing, an awkward sound, as he stepped back. And again, the familiar feeling of rejection washed over me. As if he could read my mind, he took my face in his hands and kissed me again.
“I'm not rejecting you, Sophia. It's just worried we're moving too fast,” he said. “You mentioned being a virgin and I don't want your first time to be rushed or anything less than perfect.”
Speaking of perfect, could he be any more perfect himself? The ache inside of me was almost too much, but I loved that he wanted to wait. He was right.
“Thank you,” I said, leaning my forehead against his and just cherishing the closeness.
Nico kissed me gently on the nose and then together, we walked out to the patio and snuggled in the hammock. Everything already felt so damn perfect, I couldn't imagine waiting for a better time. But I also wouldn't deny that the feeling of cuddling up against him, surrounded by the sea, was just as amazing for now.
Hopefully, there’d be time for more later.
CHAPTER SEVEN
With only one more day left on our vacation, Nico was in no hurry to make love to me. Or if he was, he didn't let on. He said he wanted us to get to know each other – really get to know each other – before we moved on to that next step.
“You seem to think I'm this perfect man,” he said, his hands entwined in mine as we curled up together in bed. “And I'm not. I'm nowhere near perfect, and I don't want to deceive you, Sophia. I've got more than my share of faults and flaws.”
“Deceive me? Come on, I see who you are – and you're as perfect as they come,” I said, relishing the energy between us.
The more time I spent with him, the more convinced I was falling for him. It was beyond crazy, but the heart wanted what the heart wanted. And my heart wanted him. In every way possible.
“But I'm not, Sophia. You just bring out the best in me, and so does being here. But when I'm home and working, well, I'm a different man,” he said. “Which is why I think we should wait.”
Inwardly, I groaned. I'd already waited so long for my first time. Most women were already sexually active at my age, and he wanted to keep me waiting. I found the perfect man, the man I wanted to give myself over to, and he wanted to take things slow. I both appreciated and abhorred the sentiment.
“Wait until what?” I asked, looking him dead in the eye. “Could it get any more perfect than this? A practically private island in the South Pacific? This is the stuff of fairy tales, Nico, and it couldn't be more perfect.”
He kissed my hand, and I could see the panic in his eyes. Perhaps he was the one not ready, I suddenly thought. “Have you been with anyone since your wife?”
His eyes quickly shifted to me, then just as quickly, he looked away. Finally, he sighed and answered my question.
“No, not in that way, I haven't,” he said. “I haven't been able to let myself go with anyone before.”
That answered the questions in my mind. It wasn't about making things perfect for me, or rather, that wasn't the only reason. He wanted to be sure he was ready too, ready to move on from Madeline and open himself up to another.
As much as I hated waiting, I knew it was the right thing. This wasn't all about me – this was about us. And as much as it needed to be right for me, it needed to be just as right for him.
I couldn't help but worry though. “Nico, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course, Sophia,” he said. “Anything.”
“What's going to happen when we get back to California?” I asked. “Because I can't just go back to working for my dad, in the diner. I just can't imagine that kind of life anymore. Not after I've felt what happiness – real happiness – is like. I just can't go back to that. Not with him.”
What I didn’t say was that I didn’t want a life that didn’t include him in it anymore. I wanted a chance to see where things with us could go. Nico was silent for a moment, making my feelings of unease grow.
“I have something I have to do,” he said, kissing me before climbing out of bed. “I'll be back.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked, sitting up and suddenly fearing the worst.
What had I said? Had I pushed for too much, too fast? Had I driven him off already? I pushed back the tears as he got dressed.
“Everything is fine, Sophia. Just some work I have to do. I'll be back,” he said. “And don't worry about what will happen when we go back. I promise you, whatever happens, you're going to be as happy there as you are here. I'm going to make sure of it.”
I wanted to believe him, but the way he left so quickly had me worried. There was some small part of me envisioning him getting on a plane and getting out of there, leaving the obviously crazy woman who wanted something more with him behind.