His eyes softened, almost like he wanted to comfort me, but the moment passed quickly. His gaze fell past me, and he turned away.
“The driver is here,” he said. “Can you run in and let Paula and Steve know, please?”
“Yes, Sebastian.” I did as I was told, and when I went inside, Jessica was already gone.
Maybe she'd made her point by being there, publicly, allowing me to see her. Or maybe she was outside with Sebastian now. Not that it was any of my business. What had happened last night was great, but perhaps there'd be nothing more that came of it. Maybe, for Sebastian, it had been a fun, one time only show. No repeat performances. How in the hell was I supposed to know what was going on in that head of his if he refused to talk to me?
I needed to understand that sometimes, things didn't always work out the way you wanted them to. I knew last night when I'd slept with him that we probably wouldn't hop into some hot and heavy lifelong committed relationship, and I'd slept with him anyway. Deep down, however, I was still hopeful.
“Stupid girl,” I muttered to myself, scolding myself for believing in happily-ever-afters. “Stupid, stupid, immature little girl.”
I hid my face so Paula and Steve wouldn't see my tears, and I did my job for the rest of the day. I did the work I was there to do and offered little more. And at the end of the day, Sebastian and I went to our separate bungalows and kept our distance. I had a hard time even relaxing as I sat out on the deck, trying to enjoy the ocean breeze because I was fearful that Jessica might be watching me.
Everything good that had happened quickly crumbled away, leaving me feeling incredibly alone and sad. In the span of twenty-four hours I’d gone from the heights of elation to the pits of despair, and it had been my own damn fault. Sebastian had been trying so hard to fight his attraction to me, I should have just let it go. Now I was sitting alone in the most beautiful place on earth with a hole where my heart was.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - VIOLET
After another round of property tours the next day, Sebastian and I parted ways again. I asked him about dinner plans, if we were meeting with Paula and Steve and he avoided my eyes, giving me a brusque reply.
“No, we're on our own tonight,” he said.
“Should we grab something at the resort?” I asked, feeling hesitant to suggest it.
“I'm just going to call in room service and stay in,” he said. “I'm really tired.”
Biting my lip, I nodded. I didn’t argue with him because I didn’t want to face the rejection I was sure he would give.
“Okay, I guess I'll do the same then,” I said.
Sebastian looked over at me, and there was a sadness in his eyes. “Maybe you should go out,” he said. Go and have a little fun. See Bali, Violet. The company will pick up the tab.”
Truthfully, I didn't want to go out without him. The idea of eating alone in a place like this just made the heartache that was crippling me even worse. That last thing I wanted was to be surrounded by couples when I was alone and my heart was breaking. No, thank you.
I shook my head. “No, I think I'll just eat dinner on the deck outside the bungalow. It'll be nice. Maybe I'll go for a swim.”
He nodded. “Just let me know if you change your mind.”
I so badly wanted to stop him, to ask him what had changed or whether our night had just been a one-time thing for him. I didn't think so, not after what he'd said the next morning, but I was suddenly feeling insecure and uncertain. I wanted to fix things, to make them right, but I also didn't want to be clingy and crazy like Jessica either.
So instead of having a meltdown, we parted ways. I went to my bungalow and he went to his. As much as I wanted to sit on my bed and cry over how quickly my dreams had been shattered, I forced myself to pu
t on my bikini. I was in Bali, goddammit, and the last thing I was going to do was lock myself in my room and cry into my pillow.
My bikini was a sexy two-piece, vintage style with the high waist that accentuated my curves. At one time, I pictured how hot I'd look wearing it for Sebastian and the effect it would have on him. But now, he wouldn't even see it because he was keeping his distance.
I stepped out onto the deck, walked to the edge, and dipped my toe into the water. The water was warmer than I thought it would be so I slipped into the ocean, dunking my head and staying underwater for a bit, just floating there and feeling all the tension in my body seeming to float away on the currents.
When I came back up for air, my eyes fell on Sebastian's bungalow. I caught him at the window, staring out at me. But the moment our eyes met, he turned and walked away from the window as fast as he could. I floated on my back, staring up at the sun, trying to relax as best I could. I wanted to forget all about Sebastian and Jessica and all of the drama. I was in paradise and didn't want to think about the real world and all of its bullshit for a while.
The sun set, and it was starting to get chilly, so I climbed out of the water and reached for the towel. As I wrapped it around my waist, I caught sight of Sebastian looking over at me again. This time, he was sitting on the deck by himself, eating what looked to be a very nice dinner.
He was close enough, I considered swimming over to him, but I could tell he wanted to be left alone. Still, when our eyes met, I could see that he was regretting that decision.
Dropping the towel, I decided to walk around in my bikini, just to show him what he was missing. Since I knew he was watching me, I figured that I'd give him a show. I'd make him regret pulling away. I picked up the room service menu as I sat down, crossing my legs and looking it over. Once I knew what I wanted, I called the order in.
Sebastian was still across the water from me, staring at me as he ate. I stared back, hoping it might make him react, do something, say something. When it didn't, I looked away and stared out at the ocean.
My phone rang, and at first, I assumed it was room service calling to confirm my order. But when I looked down at the screen, I was surprised to see that it was Sebastian. I looked across at him, and saw him point to the Bluetooth in his ear. I grinned to myself and shook my head.