“Well, we need to eat breakfast first,” I said. “And then daddy needs to get a little work done before we go out and play.”
“Could Emma come over and watch us outside while you work at least?”
“I can ask her,” I said. “But no promises, okay? Emma has a life of her own now too.”
Giggling like mad, Zoey dashed back to her room and I crawled out of bed. Six in the morning was sleeping in for me, but I never felt rested, no matter how much sleep I got. I threw on some clothes, ran a hand through my mess of hair, and went downstairs to make breakfast for the kids.
From the moment I stepped into the kitchen, I was treated to the constant barrage of “Is Emma up yet? Can Emma come over now?”
“It's too early, Zoey,” I said. “Normal people sleep in on Saturdays, you know.”
“Are you saying we're not normal?” she asked, hands on her hips, an indignant look on her face.
Zack laughed and I couldn't help but smile at his sister's attitude as I gave them their breakfast; oatmeal with fresh fruit. I still did my best to feed them like Gina would, if she were still alive, which meant, mostly healthy food options. I made sure to put in the effort, even though I had hardly any time to prepare meals most days. I did it because it was what Gina would have wanted. She didn't believe in feeding the kids a lot of junk food or processed garbage, so I did my best. It wasn't always easy and there were nights I opted for pizza or burgers, but I did what I could.
“Eat your breakfast,” I said, ruffling her hair as I sat down to my coffee.
I tried not to laugh, I didn't want to encourage her sassiness, even though it entertained me most of the time. Zoey had a fiery spirit and most definitely kept me on my toes, that was for sure. She was going to be a handful as a teenager, I could see it already, was I dreading it.
Yet as I stared at her, I couldn't help but see a lot of her mother's spirit in her. And God, I knew Gina would be so proud of her. Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched my kids eat their breakfast, cheerful and happy, filling my home with laughter and sunshine. Some days were tougher than others, no question about it, but I wouldn't trade what I had for the world. These two little bundles of energy were my heart, my life.
Sometimes, I wondered why God took Gina instead of me. She was more deserving of sharing moments like these with the kids, more deserving of being with these two beautiful children than I was. She had a certain ease with them. She had been a natural. It should have been Gina there with them, not me.
A little while later, after I'd showered and gotten the kids dressed, I stepped out back and saw that Riley was out in her own backyard.
“Hey Riley,” I said. “Good morning. How are you?”
“I'm good,” she said.
She and a boy I presumed was her boyfriend, were sitting in the backyard by the pool, sharing a lounge chair. She was practically on top of him.
“Umm so, I was wondering if Emma was around?”
“No,” Riley said, her voice flat, as if she didn't want to be bothered. “She's at work.”
As soon as Zoey heard the response, she burst into hysterics. “But I want Emma,” she said, her voice a high-pitched whine and her lower lip jutting out.
“Honey, I told you Emma has a life too,” I said gently. “Remember? I said no promises.”
Riley laughed, and I turned my attention back to her, but I realized she wasn't laughing at my kids, she was laughing at her boyfriend who was nuzzling and kissing her neck. His hands were on her breasts and they were looking a little too cozy with my kids only a few feet away. Even if they couldn't see over the fence, they could hear what was going on, and I was afraid of where things were going with them.
“Come on, Zoey,” I said. “Let me put on a movie.”
“I don't wanna! I want Emma,” she said, but she followed me inside anyway, pouting the entire time.
“We're going to the beach in a few hours,” I said.
I was already fearing the work that would pile up while we were out, but I suppressed my instant urge to cancel in favor of getting work done. I reasoned with myself that it couldn't be helped and I'd have plenty of time to catch up on work later. I needed to do this for the kids; for all of us. Obviously, considering Zoey's mood swings that morning, she needed a break from the monotony of her own life every bit as much as I needed a break from mine.
It was obvious we all needed to get out of the house and do something fun together, even if only for a few hours.
ooo000ooo
Zoey was in better spirits as we drove toward the Huntington Beach pier. She was singing songs, making her brother laugh, and seemed to have already forgotten all about not getting her way and seeing Emma earlier. I looked at them in the rearview mirror and knew this was the right decision. Work could wait, my kids couldn't. And as I parked my car, the smile on her face only reinforced and validated that decision in my own mind.
r /> My clients would just have to wait a bit longer for the financials to get approved. It was Saturday and technically, my day off so they shouldn't be expecting them until Monday anyway. But I had busy, demanding clients who never seemed to take time off and always wanted something done yesterday.
Ordinarily, I was happy to oblige. But not today. Today was a day for my kids. They deserved to have me present.