“Maybe she did. I can't deny it,” Marcus said. “I was an asshole back then. But who I was then and who I am now are two totally different people. I'm sorry, I know how you felt about Gina.”
“What?” I looked at my father. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Both men stared at me. Marcus almost looked surprised I didn't have any clue what he was talking about, and for his part, my father looked absolutely mortified. He looked as if his longest held, darkest secret had suddenly been blurted out in open court.
“You knew his wife, dad?” I asked.
My father looked at me and I could see the answer in his eyes. I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that he not only knew Marcus' wife, but that he'd cared for her too. And because of that, a lot of puzzle pieces started to fall into place, the biggest piece being his hostility toward Marcus.
“I did,” dad said slowly. “I knew her well. We dated before she dated Marcus.”
My head was spinning. I knew they both went to UCLA, but as far as I knew, they'd gone in different years. My father was bit older than Marcus, but Gina was a bit older than Marcus too. I never put two and two together until that moment, but then it hit me.
“You hate him for taking Gina away from you,” I muttered. “You're jealous and think he stole her from you.”
“I didn't take her away,” Marcus said. “They split up long before I ever came into the picture. Gina left him of her own accord, and then months later, I started dating her. She made the decision, not me. I had absolutely nothing to do with their relationship or their break up.”
And just like that, it all made sense. My dad felt like Marcus took one woman from him, and now he was worried Marcus would take me away from him too. And in both cases, my father felt like Marcus wasn't worthy of either. I could see the pain in my father's eyes and knew that I'd hit on the truth of the matter from his perspective. “Daddy, I love you, but I'm not something that can be taken away or given away, I'm a human being. Just like Gina. And I'm an adult, I can make my own choices in life,” I said. “But unlike Gina, I'll always be in your life. I'll always be your daughter. No matter who I fall in love with. I'm your daughter, we're family. That doesn't go away just because of who I choose to give my heart to.”
I glanced over at Marcus whose eyes softened as I spoke. I did love him, I'd loved him for some time, but until recently, I hadn't been able to acknowledge it, let alone say it. But now, I knew how he felt and I could tell him. I could be open with my feelings for him.
“I love you. Both of you,” I said, embracing my dad and hugging him tightly. “And nothing will ever change that, okay?”
Tears welled in my father's eyes and Marcus let go of his arm so my father could hug me back. And just like that, the tension in the air dissipated. I knew my father was going to have a hard time accepting my relationship with Marcus.
ooo000ooo
“My father will come around,” I said.
After the confrontation with my dad, we retreated back into Marcus' house. His kids were asleep and the house was quiet. It was just the two of us in his bed. I felt drained and emotionally wrung out after the scene earlier. But Marcus held my hand and placed a gentle kiss on my knuckles.
“I hope so. For your sake,” he said, stroking my cheek. “I don't want to complicate your life any more
than I already have.”
“You could never complicate my life, silly,” I said. “You can only make it better. And that's exactly what you're doing”
After a few moments of silence, Marcus turned to me and asked, “Are you sure this is what you want? To be dating a thirty-five-year-old man with two kids? Are you sure you wouldn't rather be out with somebody your own age, exploring your crazy twenties together?”
“I love your kids,” I said. “You know that. And I've told you a million times that guys my own age annoy me.”
“Yeah, but you know it's different when you're dating someone with children opposed to babysitting them,” he said. “If things were to get serious – ”
“I'd be willing to step into the role of stepmom, if that's what you're asking,” I said, propping myself up on my arm to look down at him. “I've always wanted children, lots of them actually. I feel like that's my calling in life. I want to teach children, maybe work in a daycare setting, and be a mother.”
“It's too soon to really be thinking about all that,” he said, a touch of fear in his voice.
“Oh, I know. That's not what I meant,” I said with a laugh. “I just want you to be assured and to know that not only am I fine with you having kids, I love your kids. And I only want what's best for them too.”
“They love you too,” he said. “And I can understand why.”
“So, are we doing this?” I asked, “Meaning we're going to be together?”
He looked away and was quiet for a few long moments, which made me nervous. Whatever he decided, however, I'd be able to live with. Whatever we did, I'd survive. “Yeah, I'd like that,” he said softly. “I mean, as long as you're okay with it?”
“I'm more than okay with it,,” I said, curling up against him and resting my head on his chest. “I want to be with you. I've wanted to be with you for a long, long time, in fact.”
“And I want to be with you too,” he said, kissing the top of my head.