One More Time

“I’m not ready to hop on anything,” I said. “Fuck, Ana. Is this whole thing good idea? Should we back out?”

“Hey. I upgraded our tickets on this cruise. We get all the top-shelf drinks we want. You aren’t backing out on me now. I need a drinking buddy.”

“Wait, you did what? How much did that cost? How much do I owe you?” I asked.

“Chanel, I did this for two reasons. One, we’re going to be in the Caribbean with some serious hunks. And, if Rhett is there and I have to beat his ass, then we can drink the nights away and have a bitch-a-thon. We can curse him out, you can slap his face, and then we can go have celebratory drinks and walk away with him out of your system.”

I stood and hugged the neck of my best friend.

“That’s a tad bit extreme, but I love you anyway for thinking of me,” I said.

“I love you too. Now, get that memory of your breakup out of your head. We’re about to head out for an awesome fucking cruise with shitheads we haven’t seen since high school. It’s gonna be great.”

“You and I have a very different definition of great,” I said.

But she was right. The closer we got to the date of the reunion, the more I was replaying that memory in my head. It was like a broken record, skipping on repeat. I couldn't stop it no matter how hard I fought, and the longer I stood there embracing Ana, the bigger the lump in my throat got.

“What happened that night, Chanel? You still won’t talk about it,” Ana said.

“Fuck, Ana. It was a nightmare. I still can’t belief it went down the way it did that night.”

I could remember as if it were yesterday. We planned on waiting until prom night to have sex for the first time, but the week before, we’d gone too far and ended up doing it in the back of his car, quick and dirty. I hadn’t regretted it. I loved him, and I’d been happy he’d been my first. Rhett, however, had wanted to make it up to me. We’d told our parents that we were going to stay at a friend’s house for an after party, and Rhett had his older brother rent us a hotel room and buy us a bottle of champagne. He wanted to make it a romantic night for us – or so I thought.

I shook my head and looked up at Ana. “I had gone to the bathroom and Rhett had told me to meet him in the limo, so we could go to the hotel. I was so excited, Ana.”

“I remember,” Ana said, her voice tinged with sadness.

I took a breath and continued. “When I got to the car and opened the door, Rhett was there with his pants around his ankles and some other girl I’d never seen before in his lap.

I turned and tried to run, but my damn heel got caught and I fell right on the sidewalk.”

I rubbed my knee absently, like I could still feel the pain. Part of me always would, I guess.

“Fuck, Chanel. Is that why you don’t wear heels anymore?” she asked.

“I’d never felt more weak and vulnerable in my life. I was crying on the damn sidewalk. I fucking hated that night, I hated that dress, and I hated those damn heels. I felt beautiful that night, Ana. Until he ruined it. And, all the beauty in the world didn’t matter because I still lost him.”

I panned my gaze up to my best friend as she nodded in understanding.

“Then this cruise isn’t gonna be about starting new,” she said.

“What?” I asked.

“This cruise is gonna be about reclaiming what’s rightfully yours. Chanel, we’re getting your confidence back. Plus, who knows, you might get bid on by some super-hot rich motherfucker who will rock your world.”

“Whatever,” I said.

“You can ‘whatever’ me all the way to my car.”

“I thought we were taking mine?”

“Girl, I know you better than that. I saw that backpack in the back seat of your car. I know what’s in there. We’re taking mine. You aren’t sneaking those ratty clothes onto that damn cruise.”

“I’m not wearing heels and skirts the entire time,” I said.

“Don’t worry. You’ve got flip flops in there, and I packed you a few surprises while you were buried in your thoughts. You’ll like them, trust me. Now come on, we’re gonna be late.”

CHAPTER 2