One More Time

“Eh, it happens in the writing world. There was one piece I sold to the Chicago Tribune that won a local award.”

“What was the article about?”

“How radical ideologies spread and what we can do to stop them,” I said.

“That’s the kind of information we need today. God knows I saw enough of that bullshit in the service” he said.

“I figured as much. It’s getting worse and worse, and I was having a hard time keeping my mouth shut on it.”

“Well, your writing is fantastic. You deserve all those awards.”

“Did you get any medals or anything during your time in the Navy?” I asked.

“I was elected for some, but I turned them all down.”

“You can do that?”

“You can.”

“Why did you do that?” I asked.

“Because I didn’t want medals for killing people. It didn’t seem right to me.”

I was a loss for what to say. As a writer, I prided myself on the ability to put myself in other people's shoes, to tell their stories from their points of view without them ever having to emerge from the shadows. But I had never thought of medals like that, military medals that were given out during lavish ceremonies. It never occurred to me that a soldier could see that medal as a token of our appreciation for taking someone else's life.

I guess I still had a lot to learn.

“I’m sorry. That was crass,” Rhett said.

“Please, don’t be sorry. It’s a point of view I've never considered before. As a writer, I have to understand these kinds of dynamics to understand how the world actually works.”

“And that’s why you’re going to be the best,” he said.

“I don’t want to be the best. I want to be truthful. I don’t want to spread lies or perpetuate a mindset that has no foundation to stand on. Being educated helps me do that. Talking to people helps me do that. Interacting with other people I don’t understand helps me do that,” I said.

“You’re remarkable, Chanel, and I’m glad I came on this cruise.”

“Were you not going to?” I asked.

“Nope. Tommy was the one who finally convinced me to come. And I’m glad I did.”

“I’m glad you did too. Did you have a purpose?”

“A purpose for what?” he asked.

“Coming on the cruise. Ana had to ‘purpose’ the cruise for me.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means she had to find a reason for me to come. She convinced me this cruise would be a way for me to move on from some of the things that have been holding me back,” I said.

“Ah, yes. Tommy thought this would be a good way for me to clean my slate before I figured out what to do with the rest of my life,” he said. “And he was right. I needed the time to find myself. I had to figure out what it was I wanted out of my life.”

“Have you figured it out?” I asked.

His eyes looked up into mine, and there was something there that was eerily familiar. His beautiful brown eyes were dancing around my face, and I could tell he was wanting to tell me something. I squeezed his hand and pulled it toward me, wrapping my other hand around it. I wanted him to feel comfortable around me like I was with him. I wanted him to know that he could talk to me if he needed to.

If he wanted to.