One More Time

Ana shrugged. “She didn’t get a chance to answer that. Connie came over and dragged her away before she could say. But, honestly, Chanel, does it really matter at this point? It’s been ten fucking years. At least you know he never cheated on you.”

I closed my eyes and let out a breath. “No, he didn’t. And I know I should take some comfort in that.”

“But you don’t?” Ana asked.

“No. That first night on the ship, Rhett told me that even though he didn’t remember anything, he had just figured that his subconscious took over. He said he had always known he wasn’t good enough for me, so he just figured he’d screwed everything up so he wouldn’t hold me back.”

“Damn, that’s kind of sad,” Ana said, shaking her head.

“It is, and he’s carried that around for ten years. He’s thought of himself as unworthy for ten fucking years because of that bitch and whoever paid her to set him up.”

“I guess I owe him an apology. I’ve been hating his guts for years for hurting you,” Ana said.

I laid back on my pillows and scrubbed my hands over my face. I couldn’t believe everything that had happened today. First Luke and now this. I thought back over the past few years and it made me angry all over again.

“What if it had never happened, Ana? What if Rhett and I had stayed together? Would we be married now? Have kids? Would we have been happy for the last ten years?” I asked her.

Ana thought for a moment before answering. “Honestly, Chanel, I don’t think so. I think you both needed to go and do your own thing. You needed to go to Cornell, to intern at the New York Times, and start your professional career off how and when you did. And even though it must have been a hard several years, I think Rhett needed to join the Navy. He was never that great in school and really didn’t have much planned for after graduation. If nothing had happened and he had stayed in town, he’d have probably ended up in the factory like his dad. And he’d be miserable, beaten down, and probably a raging alcoholic. Like his dad. I know it sounds shitty to say, but maybe Evelyn did you both a favor that night.”

I looked at her with shock on my face, but quickly realized she was right. “Fuck,” was all I could say.

“Yeah. Fuck. But hey, now you get a clean slate. Now that you know he didn’t betray you, maybe you can finally let your guard down and see where things between you could go.”

The thought of that both terrified and exhilarated me.

“Now, I say we go to this stupid re-prom and dazzle the shit out of all of those bitches who were jealous of you in high school. Make them jealous all over again. I packed you the perfect dress,” Ana said, jumping up to rummage through my bag.

She was right. I’d already had too much of my fun taken away on this trip by Luke and his psychotic break. I wasn’t going to let anyone else ruin the rest of my good time. Plus, I really wanted to check on Rhett and see how he was doing.

“I secretly think Connie’s trying to get prom queen. Did you see how her name was on the ballot? She wasn’t nominated when we were in high school.”

“Ten bucks said the old couple wins, and Connie cries,” she said.

“You’re on.”

“So that means you’ll suck up your shit, move on, and enjoy the rest of this cruise?”

I sighed as I lay down in bed, thinking about the dress Ana was holding up for me to wear. She was right, it was a stunner.

“Yeah, sure. I guess if it’s my only option.”

“Good. Because I’m over this drama shit. We left that in high school for a reason,” she said.

I giggled as the two of us drifted off for a nap. She was right. I needed to leave the past behind me. I couldn't allow it to rule me more than it already had. I had allowed my past with Rhett to compromise my present for far too long. Even before this cruise, I had been allowing those memories to control me, keep me from growing close to people, and keep me from enjoying things women usually enjoyed. I had allowed it to shape me and mold me far more than any experience should have.

So, I made myself a promise. I was going to wake up, get myself dressed, and go dance the night away with Rhett. Because when I peeled back all the layers and dug through all the bullshit, I found out a truth that was now easier to admit.

After all this time, I still loved him.

CHAPTER 28

RHETT

“Ugh. Is she really crying?” Chanel asked.

“What? Who’s crying?” Tommy asked.

“Connie Thomas. She didn’t win prom queen. I told you she wouldn’t. Now pay up,” Ana said.