One More Time

It almost looked like relief.

“Yeah,” he said as he locked his gaze with mine. “The woman I love.”

I swallowed thickly as Rhett reached out for my hand.

“You don’t have to feel the same way, but I do want to know what you’re feeling. You look shocked,” he said.

“That’s one way to put it,” I said. “I mean, some residual feelings have come back, yes.”

“I loved you in high school, and in some ways, I continued loving you even after. But the woman you’ve turned into is strong, compassionate, beautiful, and talented. I loved you then, and I love the woman you’ve grown into. When I said, ‘the woman I love,’ I meant the woman I’m looking at, not the girl the woman I’m looking at reminds me of.”

I felt tears crest my eyes as I turned my gaze out the window.

“There’s just so much that’s happened,” I said. “And I don’t know how much of what I’m feeling is induced by the trip and how much is real.”

“That’s understandable. There are a lot of factors in play.”

“I just need time to think, Rhett. About all this. About what all this means and— and what I want, and how in the world I’m supposed to react to this,” I said.

I felt his eyes hardening on me as I slipped my hand from his. I slid out of my seat and got to my feet, sprinting for the door. My legs carried me as fast as I could across the dining hall, not bothering to see who was watching. My head felt like it was in a vise grip. It was aching and pounding as his words echoed off the corners of my mind.

He loved me.

Rhett Smith loved me. Still.

I was elated. On cloud nine. Filled with joy and ecstasy. But everything was far from over. Luke still had to be turned over to the authorities, and reality was about to set in. Rhett and I were galivanting in a world of pristine beaches and decadent food. It was the stuff of fairy tales. That wasn’t the world I lived in. The world I lived in was cramped and cold. I didn’t quite live paycheck to paycheck, but I wasn’t well off either. And I didn’t even know where Rhett lived. For all I knew, he could live on the other side of the country.

I needed time to think, and I couldn’t do that in his presence.

CHAPTER 30

RHETT

I had been walking around, trying to find Chanel all damn day. I didn’t know what was going on with her, but I knew we needed to talk. I knew my admission from this morning had shocked her, but I also didn’t want to lie to her. It had slipped out in a moment of weakness, and the last thing I wanted to do was backtrack from it. I meant what I had said. I loved her. Every fucking part of her. But I knew that her getting up and walking away wasn’t a good sign. I had overwhelmed her, and I wanted a chance to make things right.

Again.

Walking around the ship, I ducked m

y head into every corner I thought she might be: the piano bar, the pool deck, the spa. I traveled everywhere I thought she might go in hopes of running into her. I wanted to sit and talk to her, take her for a drink to see if we could figure things out. If we had any sort of a chance to make this work after this fucked up cruise, we had to be able to communicate.

I wanted to know how she felt, but I was also ready for these games to be done. I was tired of hearing her say that she needed space, but really just wanted to get away and not think about things. I knew her better than she gave me credit for. I knew she didn’t leave this morning to think. She left so she could get away, so she didn’t have to face things, and to try to distract herself. It was a game she had played in high school, and it was a game she was playing now. It was time for her to talk.

Whether she liked it or not.

I hated that this was the road this cruise had taken. With every room that went without her presence, I grew more and more worried for her safety. I knew the risks of having Luke on this ship with her. Even with him being locked away in the belly of the ship, one well-written check to the right employee would have him freed. And with Chanel roaming this ship without me, I worried about her being alone.

But after wandering around for almost two hours, I headed to the bar in the casino. If Chanel were to come looking for me for any reason, that was the first place she would check. And it would do me no good to try and find her if she was looking for me. At this point, my best bet was to stay put somewhere for an hour or so to see if she came along.

I didn’t expect to run into Evelyn, however.

“Hi,” she said nervously, glancing around before sliding onto the barstool next to mine.

“What do you want, Evelyn? I asked.

“I wanted to fully explain what happened that night. I didn’t get a chance to earlier before Connie pulled me away.”

I sighed and closed my eyes. I knew I should probably let it go, but I did still want some answers as to what the fuck had happened on the worst night of my life.