I picked it up and my dad spoke on the other end of the phone, relief and anger both flooding my body.
“Hannah?” he asked.
“Where have you been?” I said through gritted teeth.
I sat back down on the bed with the phone pressed to my ear. I cringed as my bladder nearly burst from the motion.
“I've been working,” he said, as if that answered everything.
I rolled my eyes. “Working on what? Do you really want to go to jail again?”
My dad groaned. “Hannah, sweetie, I divorced your mom long ago, I don't need this nagging bullshit from you too.”
“Dad, wait –”
I stopped him before he hung up. Biting my lip, I stared down at Aubree. I didn't know anyone else who had experience with kids besides my own father – not that he was ever father of the year or anything like that. But, at the moment, he was the best I had.
“Do you happen to have a crib or basinet?” I asked. “Maybe from when I was a baby?”
There was an awkward silence on the other end of the line. “Hannah, are you –”
“No. Oh, God no,” I laughed.
I mean, it's not like I was seeing anyone or getting any action. I'd just moved back to town – who would I have slept with and gotten pregnant by? I didn't want to give away Eli's news – whether he deemed it good or bad, it wasn't up to me to tell it. So, I lied.
“It's for a friend,” I said. “Someone I met at the hospital. She has a baby and no bed for her, I just thought –”
Dad sighed. “You've always had a good heart, Hannah,” he said. “Yeah, I'll bring it by. It's in the garage, so I'll have to dig it out. How soon do you need it by?”
I looked over at the sleeping baby. “Tonight? If possible?”
It was late, after midnight, but I knew my dad would be awake for a long time yet. It was nothing for him to work late into the night and early into the morning.
He muttered under his breath, though. Clearly not pleased with my request even though I knew he'd be up for a while yet.
“You owe me, dad,” I said, my voice rising. “After all the shit you've put me through over the years –”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “I'll dig it out and bring it over. It'll be late. Think you'll be up?”
“I usually work nights at ER,” I said.
When he didn't say anything, I figured that statement didn't quite resonate with him. The idea of a regular work schedule was so foreign to him, he obviously didn't get what I was saying, so I spelled it out for him.
“Yes, of course I'll be up,” I said. “I'm usually up all night. Working. Remember?”
He didn't respond to my attitude. He hardly ever did. Instead, he just said, “Alright. I'll be by later,” he said. “I'll call before I head over.”
He disconnected the call, and I let out a sigh of relief as I rested my head against the backboard of the bed. One problem solved, a hundred more where that had come from. My eyes were growing heavy with sleepiness. Sure, I was usually working nights, but I'd been up most of the day today too, trying to find my dad. He'd been missing longer than usual, and yes, a part of me had feared the worst.
Knowing his habits and love for booze and illegal drugs, it was hard not worry about him. I feared we'd find him dead in a ditch somewhere, or worse, he'd be brought into the hospital while I was working, and I'd have to watch my own dad die in front of me – helpless to do anything to save him because some people are beyond saving.
Like Aubree's mother, I thought to myself. My heart was heavy for the child sleeping next to me. Eli had lost his mom at a young age, and I saw what it had done to him. He was old enough to remember bits and pieces of his mother, however, as was I. Aubrey, the baby's namesake, was a good woman. Strong-willed. A fighter. But, in the end, that hadn't been enough to save her from her addictions. Her demons had won.
My eyes grew even heavier as I remembered getting the call about my stepmother's death. It had been an accident, I was told. An accidental overdose from heroin laced with something else. One that Eli had seen, firsthand, because he'd been with her at the time. That was a lot different than poor little Aubree. Her mother might die, but she was too young and wouldn't have any memories of her. Especially not of her death and her struggles with addiction. Fortunately.
I couldn't be sure, but I had to think it was better somehow. Better that Aubree was spared the devastation that Eli had endured. Of course, no one would really know the effect it would have on the child, not until she was older. But, God willing, if I could help Eli give this child a good, steady life, I was going to do everything in my power to be there for her. Him too, of course.
My phone buzzed, alerting me to an incoming text message. The sound jolted awake. I grabbed the phone and felt relief when I saw it was from Eli.