One More Time

CHAPTER THREE- SEAN

Five days into our new life in Colorado and I was already exhausted. Though I reminded myself that I had no time or desire to make friends here, my self-imposed isolation was beginning to close in around me. It was Monday morning, and I could barely get through breakfast without losing my mind. Tommy and Sarah were fighting at the table and neither would eat a bite of their food. With a sigh, I walked over to join them.

“Enough,” I said firmly while Sarah continued to yell in Tommy’s ear. “Eat. Now.”

“I’m not really hungry,” Tommy said.

“It’s pancakes,” I said. “It’s the one thing I can actually cook. Come on, eat. Would you?”

Tommy sighed and finally poured syrup over his pancakes. He dug in and ate slowly, quiet for the first time all morning. When I looked at Sarah though, she was glaring at her plate.

“Sarah,” I said softly. “Come on.”

“They smell like poop,” she said.

“They do not,” I said. “That’s not nice. Just eat.”

“No.” Sarah looked at me with the same challenging look I’d seen a hundred times since the move. She, more than her brother, hated leaving California. I knew it was the memories of Telissa she missed the most, but there wasn’t anything I could do about that. The more helpless I felt, the angrier I became.

“Fine,” I said. “Don’t eat. Starve.”

With that, I stood up and took her plate. I dumped her pancakes in the trashcan and put her plate in the sink. When I looked back at her, she was staring at me with her mouth wide open. I just stared back.

If she wanted to challenge me, that was fine. I could challenge her right back. After all, a five-year-old couldn’t throw anything at me that I couldn’t handle.

“He threw away my food!” she said to Tommy.

Tommy shrugged and took another bite of his pancakes. Sarah stared at him and waited for him to speak. When he didn’t, she huffed and stormed upstairs to her room. Tommy giggled and turned to face me.

“What are you going to do now?” he asked.

“Wait until lunch,” I said. “I bet you anything she’ll eat without a complaint.”

Tommy laughed again and nodded. I smiled and started doing the dishes. Sometimes, it felt impossible to go up against Sarah. She was so much like her mother, strong-willed and full of fire. I couldn’t look at her without seeing Telissa staring back at me. Most days, it was a comfort, but others, it was a real obstacle. Telissa was always great with the children. She knew how to handle the tantrums better than I ever did. I was always the busy career focused father. Admittedly, I put more time than I should have on my career. I was paying for those sins now. Inside, I knew it was a shortfall in my relationship with Telissa. She didn’t get the attention she deserved and sought it elsewhere. I was a damned fool not to see it coming. It was my fault.

As the day drug on, the kids continued to fight nonstop. Sarah finally ate at lunchtime, but she decided to do so while kicking her brother’s chair under the table. By the time they were finished, Tommy was so angry he was almost in tears.

He marched upstairs and threw Sarah’s favorite teddy bear out the window. The bloodcurdling scream she unleashed made me think she was dying. I flew upstairs, only to find her and Tommy standing in front of the open window, glaring at each other.

I knew then that I wasn’t going to survive the summer without help. I had planned our move for the week after school let out. It was barely June now. I had three months left before I could ship the kids off to school and get a little peace and quiet. Just the idea of being locked in the house with them for three full months was enough to drive me insane.

After I finally got them both calmed down, there was a knock on the front door. I groaned and hurried to answer it, hoping it wasn’t some nosey neighbor coming to try and drum up a conversation. I wasn’t in the mood. When I opened the door, I was almost relieved to see it was just Mrs. Johnston.

“I brought you some brownies,” she said with a smile.

Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t help but smile back. “Thank you. Please, come on in.”

She stepped over the threshold and made her way back to the kitchen. Mrs. Johnston had already stopped by twice since we moved in, and each time, she brought over a different baked good. I was really starting to warm to her, as much as it wasn’t in my nature.

“Kids!” I yelled. “Mrs. Johnston’s here!”

Tommy and Sarah came bounding down the stairs and into the kitchen. They each hugged Mrs. Johnston and quickly helped themselves to a brownie. It was amazing how quickly they could go from absolute terrors to perfectly behaved in a matter of minutes. I knew it was only because Mrs. Johnston was here, but I didn’t care. I welcomed the silence, either way.

“Would you like one?” Mrs. Johnston asked, already pulling one out of the pan for me.

“Thank you.” I said. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“Baking is my hobby.” She shrugged. “It keeps me young.”