o ever quit, but I worried I’d hurt her so badly she wouldn’t be able to live here anymore.
I sighed as I sunk into my chair at the kitchen table. It was early, too early for anyone else to be awake yet. I thought about getting some writing done, but for the first time in a while, it didn’t feel important.
What mattered was Emily and finding a way to make things right between us again. I didn’t know how I would do that, but I knew I had to try. As I sat at the table, playing over our conversation in my head, I had an idea.
Grinning, I shoved myself to my feet and hurried into the kitchen. I still wasn’t a great cook, but I was getting better. With Emily’s help, my food had become edible, and I’d even begun learning how to make her famous french toast. As I gathered the ingredients, I knew the food wouldn’t be delicious, but I hoped the gesture would be enough to make things up to Emily.
I hurried through cooking, knowing the kids would be awake any minute. By the time I got the french toast made and the bacon frying, I heard thunderous footsteps coming my way. I craned my neck around to see Tommy and Sarah flying into the kitchen,
“Oh no!” Tommy said, groaning loudly. “Dad’s cooking!”
“It’s okay,” I said with a laugh. “I’m making Emily’s famous french toast. It’ll be good!”
“Ugh!” Tommy said, falling into his chair.
“Just try it, okay?” I asked.
Tommy nodded, but Sarah still looked hesitant. When I set her plate in front of her, she just poked at the toast with her fork. I cut a small bite for her and nudged it playfully toward her lips like I did when she was a toddler. She giggled and finally tried it.
“It’s good!” Sarah said with shock in her voice.
“It is?” Tommy asked. He eyed his plate and then took a tiny bite. His face lit up with excitement as he chewed. “It is! Dad, you can cook now!”
“Kind of,” I said. “Emily’s a great teacher.”
Just then Emily appeared at my side. She’d come downstairs while I was busy convincing the kids to eat my cooking. When I turned to see her face, she was smiling, but it didn’t reach her eyes. The blue-green of them was stained with red lines. I could tell she’d been crying, and the thought made my stomach tighten painfully. I never wanted to cause her pain, but somehow, I kept fucking up and hurting her.
“I made breakfast,” I said proudly. “Emily’s famous french toast.”
Emily nodded and smiled weakly. When our eyes met, she looked away quickly, and I knew she was still upset. I gestured for her to sit down, and I placed a plate in front of her, hurrying over to get her some coffee.
“Thank you,” she said.
Her voice was tight, but she took a sip of the coffee all the same. When she tried to french toast, I held my breath and waited. She chewed slowly, swallowing hard.
“So?” I asked. “I know they aren’t as good as yours but…”
“They’re great,” she said with a nod.
“Dad’s getting better!” Sarah said.
Emily smiled at her kindly but didn’t meet my gaze. I sat down at the table, disappointed but still determined to fix things. As we ate our breakfast, I made conversation about their plans for the day. Emily barely spoke, but Tommy and Sarah told me all about their day.
They were going to the bookstore this morning, and then they were getting pizza for lunch. Tommy was thrilled, but Sarah still insisted she wanted to go to the mall.
“We already had this discussion,” I reminded her firmly.
“Yeah, but it’s stupid,” Sarah said.
“That’s enough.” My eyes narrowed as she stared at me in that challenging way of hers. I glanced at Emily to see if she wanted to say something, but she wasn’t even looking at us. Her eyes were focused on the table.
“Well, have fun today,” I said after breakfast was over.
The kids gave me a hug and hurried upstairs to get dressed. I carried the plates to the kitchen and watched while Emily slowly lifted herself out of her chair. When I turned to face her, she was staring at the stairs, waiting for the kids to reappear. I could tell she was eager to be out of the house, and I knew that was my fault.
“Emily,” I said softly. “About last night.”
“I should get my shoes,” she said quickly.