One More Time

I mouthed the words, “I'm sorry,” in her direction, feeling terrible that Raya was stuck cleaning up the mess and dealing with Leon.

Malcolm leaned close to me and whispered into my ear – his warm breath causing my flesh to tingle.

“Run to the bathroom really quickly,” he said. “I'll keep a watch out for you and distract Leon if he comes back down this way again.”

“Thank you,” I said, wanting to kiss him in that moment.

He gave me a cocky grin and motioned for me to go into the bathroom. I hurried inside and did my business, trying not to take too long. I washed my hands and placed them under the dryer when the bathroom door swung open, a flourish of henna and patchouli announcing her arrival.

“Raya?”

“Halleluiah! I'm free at last,” she said. She was cackling like an idiot. “Oh, my Goddess, Casey, I just told Leon to take this job and shove it. So cliche, but sooo worth it to see the look on his constipated face. You totally should come with me – I'm going to grab breakfast to celebrate, and I'd love it if you could celebrate kicking this shitty job to the curb with me.”

“I can't, Raya,” I said. “You know I can't quit.”

“Come on,” she grabbed my hands before they finished drying and shook them. “Breakfast. You and me. And hell, if you want to bring Mr. Handsome with you, he can come too. The more the merrier!”

“How about I join you after my shift?” I said. “It ends in just over an hour and –”

“Casey,” Raya whined. “You deserve better than this place, chica. You shouldn't have to put up with Leon's shit – or those handsy pigs out on the floor, either. This job is so shitty and you're so smart and pretty and hard working – ”

“But I have bills to pay and kids to feed,” I said. “It's not just about me, Raya.”

God, I wished it was sometimes. I wished I could be like her – free to quit this awful job once and for all. Free to be myself and pursue my flights of fancy, no matter where they took me. If I just had to worry about my own bills, I could have found something else. Something better.

Maybe it wouldn't have paid as much as I made there, but if I was only worried about taking care of myself, it could have worked. I had my brother, sister and mother to take care of, though, and I couldn't just leave them hanging until I found something else. The electric bill was already late, and they were going to shut us off Monday if I didn't make enough tonight to cover it.

I had problems Raya just couldn't understand. She was free to do what she wanted because she had parents who were backing her up. I didn't have that. I didn't have anybody. No safety net of any kind, whatsoever.

“Alright, alright, I can't make you leave an abusive situation until you're ready.” Raya completely dismissed the fact that it wasn't a choice – I literally couldn't leave. She sighed. “I'll head over to IHOP. Meet me there when you get off.”

My body ached, and I just wanted to go to bed. Plus, money spent on pancakes was money that could go toward groceries this week. I'd just have a coffee, I decided. Or maybe just a glass of ice water.

“I'll meet you there as soon as I'm off,” I promised.

Raya shrieked and ran out the door. I followed behind. I watched with an amused grin on my face as she flipped off Leon and Tommy, yelling something I couldn't make out over the music, until security guided her toward the doors and out onto the sidewalk, making sure she was gone.

“Who was she?” Malcolm said, his voice taking me by surprise. I'd almost forgotten he was out there, waiting for me.

“Just a disgruntled employee who's had enough,” I mumbled.

“Well, good for her,” he said. “Looks like she's very happy with her decision.”

“Yeah, it does.”

I stared at the doors through which Raya had been escorted out. I seriously yearned to walk out those doors myself – not before giving Leon a big middle finger, of course – and never look back. But, I couldn't. I turned back to Malcolm and gave him a small smile.

“Thanks for standing guard,” I said. “I better get back to work though. Now that we're down a dishwasher, they're going to need all the help they can get.”

Malcolm touched my arm, stopping me. “I have a question to ask you,” he said tentatively. “Though, I'm sure it's going to come out wrong and you're probably going to say no.”

My stomach was in knots, and my mouth was dry. I stared, wide-eyed up at him. I wondered what his question was. “But I can't ask here,” he said, averting his eyes. “Maybe we can meet up after you get off?”

“I can't,” I said softly, thinking about Raya's celebratory breakfast. “It's against company policy to date customers – I mean, it's not strictly against policy, it's just generally discouraged. And I know how dangerous it can be. I have no intention of getting murdered, not that I think you'd murder me – but, you know what I mean.”

Fuck, Casey. Could you have screwed that up anymore? Could you have sounded any more like a rambling idiot?

“I mean – well, technically, I have plans already,” I stammered jamming my foot even further down my throat. “But maybe –”