Finally, she said, “How about the Cheesecake Factory? I've never been there before.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I said.
We walked over to the restaurant, and there was a bit of a wait. I made small talk with her until we were finally seated, not wanting to bring up our conversation from the other night before she was ready.. I was content to just let her play it out at her own pace. I didn't want her to slap me again or storm out of the restaurant. Even though she seemed to be in a better mood, I wasn't going to take any chances.
As soon as we sat down, she started talking just as I did.
“Malcolm, I –”
“Casey, I just wanted –”
We both stopped, and then we laughed.
“Go ahead,” I told her. “Ladies first.”
Her smile wavered, and she took a deep breath. “I thought a lot about what you'd offered me the other night, Malcolm and I – ”
The waitress interrupted us, and Casey let out an agonized sigh. I could tell it was hard for her to say what she was trying to say, and she’d been trying to get it out while she’d had the courage.
“Welcome to The Cheesecake Factory, my name is Katrina,” she chirped brightly. “Would you like to start out with an appetizer or maybe a cocktail?”
“Can you give us a minute, Katrina?” I said. “We haven't had a chance to look at the menu yet.”
“Of course. Let me get you started with some waters for now, okay?”
“Sounds great,” I said.
Katrina wandered away from our table, and I stared at Casey. She looked like a deer in the headlights, her eyes wide. I felt like a complete and utter asshole. So, I decided to just nip it in the bud and take all of the strained tension, awkwardness, and pressure off of her.
“Casey, I'm sorry I even brought all that up with you,” I said. “Honestly, it was a spur of the moment thing, and I shouldn't have put you in the position. Really, I'm so sorry.”
“Malcolm, I was just going to say I'll do it.”
A strangled, choking sound escaped me. “You will?”
“I will.”
I couldn't believe it. I was staring at the face of the woman who would have my child. Well, if things worked out, that was. Still, hearing her say she'd do it was incredible. It felt like a two-ton weight had been lifted from my shoulders. At the same time though, it felt like another two-ton weight settled heavy in my stomach.
I was going to be a father. I found someone willing to have a baby for me, which meant that I was going to be a dad. Great. So, now what?
My head was spinning, and from the look on Casey's face, hers was too.
“Are you sure, Casey?” I asked. “I mean, this is a pretty big deal.”
“I'm positive,” she sighed. “I'll be honest, I've always wanted children of my own someday, so I can't believe I'm agreeing to do this. I can't believe I'd hand my child over to you, no strings attached. But I need to get myself in a better situation before I can ever dream of having a family myself. So – I'm thinking of it like an investment into my future. Malcolm, I just – I want to make sure that you'll care for the child. That you'll give him or her the best life possible. That's what matters the most to me.”
“Of course,” I said. My head was still fuzzy, and I was still trying to process it all. “Casey, I've always wanted kids too, and while this isn't the ideal situation for me either – I've always wanted to be a father. My child will never want for anything.”
She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. I wanted to walk around the table and wrap her up in a tight hug but feared that it would earn me another hard slap across the face, so I remained in my seat. Better safe than sorry.
“I know,” she said. “You can give a child more than I ever could. I just hope that with our arrangement, it can help me get on my feet, so I can care for the family I have, and raise a family of my own one day too.”
I decided to chance it. I reached across the table and took her hand in mine. She didn't pull her hand away, or stab me with a fork, so I figured I was doing okay.
“Casey, if you help me with this, I promise to take care of you,” I said. “If there's anything I can do to help you improve your life, I'll do it. Just say the word. Seriously, your wish will be my command. I mean that.”
Our eyes were locked on each other for a moment, and she smiled back at me. Her full lips parted as if she was going to say something just as Katrina brought us our waters.