Sure, it could get lonely from time to time and, before the kids had come along, I would entertain myself with random chicks, screwing them in the bathroom of the one decent bar in town. But even that had gotten old. And now that I had Hadley and Liam to think of, my sex life was in a sad state. Even though I had a nanny who could watch them so I could go out, I still didn’t want to risk a clingy bimbo following me home. Maybe I could manage to be without pussy for a little, at least until I really got my shit together.
I strode over to the fridge and grabbed myself another beer. I’d been clean of my addiction to painkillers for months, but nights like this tested my willpower. My stress levels would mount and my hands would shake violently. My body would crave it and my mind would tell me just to take the edge off. When those two beautiful kids came to live with me, I flushed all the pills down the damn toilet. I blocked and deleted all the numbers of people I’d call to get them from and I told myself that was that.
No more from that point on.
Cold fucking turkey.
I sat on the couch and listened to the quiet around me. Most nights I appreciated the solace, but tonight it just made things worse.
Maybe I did need to get laid.
CHAPTER 2
MELANIE
I sat at the kitchen table poring over the bills and feeling the panic start to rise in my chest. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my nerves. I needed to find a job that paid decent, and fast.
I needed to get my ass in gear.
I graduated from the University of Montana nearly six months ago and had yet to find work. There wasn’t much need for a preschool teacher here in Bozeman and, with my father’s health rapidly declining, I couldn’t exactly leave in search of a job somewhere else.
My dad never asked me to stay, that was more due to his pride and love more than anything. My mother had taken off when I was just a baby so I was the only one left to take care of him and he was too fragile to move with me anywhere.
So, here I was in Bozeman with a degree that was doing nothing for me, and a mounting pile of medical bills that I couldn’t pay. I pushed away from the table and went to check on Dad. He was still sleeping soundly as I stood in his doorway watching the rise and fall of his chest, and with that view my heart grew inside.
Dad was only fifty-two, but the years had not been kind. After my mother ran out to follow some country singer around the states, my father worked extra hard to provide for me. He’d given me a good life, but it came with the expense of his health. Now, it was time for me to return the favor.
Hence, the reason I was so stressed about work.
I sighed and walked back into the kitchen, picking up my phone and dialing my best friend Layla’s number.
“What’s up?” came her usual greeting.
“Oh, you know, just living the dre
am. Thinking about my broke ass and how the hell I’ll fix it,” I said.
Layla laughed on the other end of the line. “Well, you could always start hooking outside the bar. With that body of yours, you’d probably make a decent living. Maybe I could even be your pimp,” she said.
I giggled and leaned my head against the refrigerator. “And this is why I call you when I’m feeling shitty. You can always make me laugh,” I said appreciatively.
“That’s what I’m here for, babe. Hey, how about you come have breakfast with me? I don’t have to be at the coffee shop for a couple of hours yet. My treat,” she offered.
“That actually sounds like a great idea,” I said. “Dad will be sleeping for a while yet, and getting out of this house will do me some good.”
“Great, I’ll see you at the diner,” Layla said.
I went back to Dad’s room one more time to make sure he was comfortable. I could tell by the slackness of his jaw that he was sleeping deeply and I would have at least an hour or two before he would wake. I checked my watch and noted the time I would need to be back. I jotted a quick note for him and made sure his phone was next to the bed before I grabbed my keys and headed for my car.
As I stepped outside, I glanced around me, always on alert.
Ever since that day, nearly four years ago, I always looked over my shoulder when I was out alone. Shaking my head and rolling my shoulders back, I took a deep breath and hopped off the porch, sliding into the front seat of my car and heading the short distance into town.
As I pulled into the lot of our favorite diner –the one with the best damn milkshakes I’d ever had – I saw Layla leaning against her car with her face in her phone as she waited for me.
“Damn, it’s colder than a witch’s titty out here,” she complained, pulling her coat tighter around her.
“No shit,” I agreed, stepping forward to wrap her in a hug.