My want for him was as intense as it had been for Dylan, Wyatt, and Andrew.
And I was stuck.
“Ya ready to go?” Lizzie asked.
“Yep. Let me find my hat, and we can get out of here,” I said.
I found it at the bottom of my closet. My mind was swirling with all the things that could possibly happen tonight, especially since my brother was going to be there. Alcohol and dancing had never mixed well with the brothers and me, and the last thing I needed was for all of this to come out to him right now. If I was going to choose one of them, then I could save my brother a lot of heartache by not talking to him until I made my decision.
But if I couldn’t choose between them, then I didn’t even want to think about the conversation I’d have to have with Hunter.
“All right. I’m ready,” I said.
“Girl, you look hot. Those men ain’t gonna be able to keep their hands off ya. Come on. We’re gonna be there fashionably late as it is,” Lizzie said.
I grabbed my purse, and the two of us headed to my car. I knew I’d have to be Lizzie’s driver for the night, which was fine with me. I really didn’t know how many of the brothers knew about my drinking issue in college, but I knew Hunter didn’t know. And the best way to keep it under wraps from him was for me to not drink at all. Even though I knew my limits, and even though I kept my boundaries very well nowadays, I knew the brothers would be staring at me if I started drinking.
And Hunter would notice. Which would prompt questions. Which would get the brothers rattling off their mouths and spilling things they shouldn’t.
Lizzie and I got to the club and Hunter was already there. That would keep all the guys in check for the night, which meant I could enjoy the night dancing with Lizzie. I was so relieved when Wyatt was the one that walked up behind us in the kitchen and not Hunter. My brother would’ve killed him if he even thought for one second Caleb had been making the moves on me.
Hunter was way too protective like that sometimes.
“Glad you two decided to show up,” Hunter said.
“Oh, quit bein’ so mad and find a girl to grind on,” I said as I hugged him.
“He could start with me,” Lizzie said with a grin.
“Usually I’d say no, but I’ve had a couple shots, and I’m feelin’ generous,” Hunter said.
“Wow. Does that line work on other women?” Lizzie asked flatly.
“He’s just kidding. Right, Hunter?” I asked.
I shot my brother a look as he held out his hand for Lizzie.
“Of course, I am,” he said.
But it wasn’t all that convincing.
I saw the brothers peppered around the club dancing with beers in their hands. I grabbed a small glass of water and watched everyone dance, and I could feel the brothers stealing glances at me. Each one of them was undressing me in their own way with their eyes, keeping it away from Hunter who was entranced by Lizzie. The two of them were two peas in a pod. I’d been trying to set them up for years, but Hunter was dead set on never settling down. He had been before Mom died, but he was even more intent on it after she passed. Dad leaving did a number on him but in the opposite way. I was determined to prove to myself that not all men were like that, and he was determined to never let himself get connected. And I knew why that was. He was scared he’d turn out just like that. He looked like him, spoke like him, even sounded like him at times.
I knew that insecurity was why Hunter was so protective of me, but eventually, he would have to get over it.
The night went on, and I finally tore Lizzie away from Hunter. I danced with her, my water over my head as our hips swayed side to side. She twirled me around and chugged beer after beer, and soon Hunter was stepping in again and holding her up while they danced some more. I went around and talked to the brothers a bit when they weren’t dancing with other women, and while the conversation was good, they really had their walls up.
I couldn't blame them with Hunter being here, but it really did put a damper on things.
I wanted them to be able to express themselves with me. I wanted them to not be afraid to put their hands on me. I knew Caleb wanted me. There was a longing in his eyes whenever I looked over at him. But they kept their distance, and I kept mine, and I tried to drown them out with the water I was throwing back and the bathroom breaks I had to take.
The night was fun, but it showcased a whole new reality of what I was doing.
It was taboo. And it showed me that it might not be possible for me to have all of them. Which brought up a question.
If I couldn’t have all of them like I wanted, was it possible for me to choose any of them?
CHAPTER 25