Her Best Men

“What did you say?”

“That if that kid’s spit gives me herpes, I’m suing the school, too.”

I giggled as I shook my head. Carol never ceased to amaze me with the insane stories she always seemed to have at the end of her weeks. Sometimes, I even questioned if they were true, but they kept me laughing, so I kept my mouth shut.

“Any plans for the holidays?” I asked.

“Alcohol, meaningless familial conversations, then hitting up some clubs and finding a nice bad boy to keep me warm for the night.”

Before I could give a witty response, my phone rang again and I silenced it without even looking down.

“Landon still bugging you?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said, sighing. “I just don’t wanna talk to him.”

“You told him the engagement was off, right?”

“I finally broke things off. I couldn’t drag it out any longer.”

“Then he needs to piss off.”

“You’re telling me,” I said.

My phone rang again, and I grunted before I turned it over and took out the battery.

“That’s one way to do it,” Carol said. “I take it a chat with Landon isn’t in the books for your holidays?”

“Nope. I’m going home. Seeing my dad. Decorating for Christmas and opening presents and watching the sun rise above the trees.”

“Sounds absolutely boring,” she said. “Will there be booze?”

“There’s always booze when my father’s concerned,” I said.

“I like him already.”

I put the battery back into my phone and watched it start up. Another voicemail rushed to my phone, but so did two other messages. I opened the group chat and saw the picture the Trent brothers sent me before I threw my head back with laughter.

The six of them had painted their stomachs with the phrase “Come Home” written out in Christmas colors.

“Holy fuck, I can’t believe they’re your neighbors,” Carol said, leaning over my shoulder to see what I was laughing at. “I’d be their ‘ho ho ho’ anytime. It wouldn’t even have to be Christmas!”

“Well, they aren’t there all the time. Their childhood home sort of turned into a vacation home for when their family gets together. I don’t think any of them live there permanently, but they’ve never been the city type either. They’ve all stayed close by.”

“Sweetheart, you don’t keep those luscious beards, massive arms, and chiseled abs in the city. The mountains are a fitting back-drop for those sweet cheeks.”

“Yeah, I suppose they did sort of turn into a bunch of mountain men, huh?” I asked.

“Sort of? Kyra, Zeus himself couldn’t chisel better bodies with his lightning fists.”

“You’re nuts.”

“I’m nuts for their nuts,” she said.

“Carol!”

“Kyra, just promise me one thing. If you go home and those sexy men hit on you, do something about it. We both know you’re not experienced enough to teach a class like this. Get yourself some experience.”

“I’m not sleeping with my neighbors,” I said. “And I’m not doing this teaching gig forever. Relationship Coach, remember?”