Her Best Men

Our waiter came over a few minutes later. We ordered our food and then fell into an uncomfortable silence. Joshua stared at my face, barely looking anywhere else. My eyes scanned the room slowly. I found it hard to meet Joshua’s gaze.

“So,” I finally said. “Tell me. What did you want to talk about?”

“I still love you.”

Joshua’s confession was blunt and unapologetic. I jerked my head up and stared at him in disbelief. His dark blue eyes were the exact shape and color as Michael’s. I didn’t know how I’d missed it before.

“You’re not serious,” I scoffed.

“Of course, I am,” Joshua said. His voice was soft and gentle. He leaned forward, resting his hands on the table. “I still love you, and I think we made a huge mistake when we broke up.”

“You dumped me,” I said firmly. “We didn’t break up, Joshua. You dumped me without a second thought.”

“That’s not true,” Joshua said. “I was torn. Ending things with you was the hardest decision of my life.”

“Then, why did you do it?” I asked boldly. “If it was so damn hard, why do it at all?”

“Because…” he said, trailing off slowly. “I thought it was for the best. My life became so hectic and insane. With my residency starting, I just thought it would be better if I let you go.”

“That’s bullshit,” I said.

“It’s not,” Joshua said. “It’s the truth.”

“Well, it doesn’t work that way,” I said. I was so angry that my vision was blurry. “You can’t just come crawling

back after I’ve moved on and expect me to jump at the chance to be with you again.”

“Moved on?” Joshua asked with a laugh. “You mean, my brother?”

“Look,” I said. “I’m sorry if it’s weird for you. Okay? It’s weird for me too. And for Michael. But I really like him.”

Joshua glared and sat back in his chair. All the kindness vanished from his face. Suddenly, he was the same Joshua I remembered. The same guy who broke my heart into a thousand pieces and then sent me on my way.

“You don’t even know him,” Joshua said.

“That’s not true,” I said. “We may have only known each other for a short time, but I do know him. We have a connection and—”

“A connection?” Joshua scoffed. “Julie, you and I have two years’ worth of history. We were in love. We practically lived together. We had a real relationship. You and Michael, you don’t have anything.”

“It’s new,” I said. “But that doesn’t mean it isn’t real.”

“And you think he feels the same way?” Joshua asked. “You really believe he cares about you?”

“Yes,” I said firmly. “I do.”

Joshua shook his head and laughed darkly. He looked away from me as if he couldn’t stand the sight of me for another second. I thought about leaving, just standing up and walking outside, but I felt frozen in place. There was something about Joshua that sparked all my insecurities. With just one conversation, he already had me doubting myself.

Maybe he was right. Maybe things between Michael and me weren’t as serious as I believed. Maybe it was all just some casual fling. Maybe Michael never wanted anything real with me.

“I’m sorry if this hurts you,” I said. I was no longer angry, but I wasn’t going to cave. “But I like Michael and he likes me. We’re together, and you’re just going to have to get used to that.”

“I can’t believe you would sink this low,” Joshua said. He shook his head again and glared at me. I’d never seen so much anger in his eyes.

“What is so bad about what I did?” I asked. “I moved to Ennis, Joshua. And when I did, I met Michael. Where is the harm in that?”

“You’re dating my brother!” Joshua said. “After everything you and I went through together, you’re sleeping with my brother. That’s so fucked up, Julie.”

“I didn’t know who he was,” I said. My anger was beginning to come back. “You ended things with me, remember? You broke my heart. I left town to try and get over you. And you know what? It worked. I did. I got over you, and I moved on. I’m sorry that it just so happened to be with your brother.”