We fell silent for a few minutes, just listening to each other breathe. There were so many things I wanted to say to him that I didn’t know where to begin. I opened my mouth ten times, but no words came out. Every time something popped into my head, I convinced myself it would sound stupid.
“Listen,” Michael finally said. “Julie, I’m sorry for what happened. I shouldn’t have lied—”
“I miss you.” I blurted out the words before I could stop myself. Before I even realized what I was saying, it was out there for the entire world to know.
I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing, but I didn’t care. I was done hiding and fighting with myself. I stopped thinking and let myself feel, acting only on my emotions and nothing else. All I could do was sit back and hope for the best.
Michael inhaled sharply on the other end of the phone. I wished more than anything that I could see his face at that moment. If I saw his eyes, I would know exactly what he was thinking. Instead, I just had to wait for him to speak. My heart raced the entire time.
“I miss you, too,” Michael said softly. His voice was weak. He sounded close to tears.
I closed my eyes and inhaled the cold air. The sound of Michael’s breathing was enough to comfort me. I hadn’t felt so relaxed in days.
“How was your Christmas?” I asked.
“It was…” Michael trailed off. “Eventful.”
“Oh?” I asked. “Tell me about it.”
“Well,” Michael said with a soft chuckle. “Josh came over yesterday, and that didn’t go very well.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I never meant to come between you and your brother.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Michael said. “None of this is your fault, Julie.”
“I know,” I said. “But that doesn’t mean I want to see you hurt.”
“The only thing that’s hurting me is being away from you,” Michael said. My heart skipped a beat. “Josh isn’t even on my radar right now.”
“I’m sorry for avoiding you,” I said. “I just wasn’t ready to talk yet.”
“I understand,” Michael said. “What I did was pretty unforgivable.”
“Why did you do it?” I asked. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth that day in the café?”
Michael hesitated. I could tell he was thinking how best to respond. I waited patiently, just happy to finally talk to him again.
“I didn’t know how you would react,” Michael said. “I thought you would freak out and run away.”
I laughed. “I might have. I left Dallas to escape Joshua. If I knew I’d met his brother during my first week in town, I probably would have lost it.”
“Exactly,” Michael said. “And I hated that. I just wanted to get to know you. You have to know that I never intended for things to go so far. When I sat down to talk to you, it was just to ta
lk. I didn’t think I would like you so much.”
“Why did you talk to me at all?” I asked softly.
“I knew about your relationship with Josh,” Michael said. “I knew how he treated you, and I knew you didn’t deserve it. I can’t tell you how many times he pissed me off when we would talk about you.”
“I can imagine,” I said. “Joshua was never very kind when it came to me.”
“He told me about your breakup,” Michael said. “And then, there you were. Just sitting in the café. I was surprised, but I also couldn’t walk away. It was like a magnet was pulling me to you. There was nothing I could do to fight it.”
I closed my eyes and listened to his voice. Everything he said sounded perfect. It was exactly what I’d wanted to hear for days now. But I was scared. Terrified. The idea of getting hurt again was almost too much to bear.
“I’m sorry I lied,” Michael said. “It was wrong.”
“I think I understand,” I said weakly. “It wasn’t an easy situation.”