I turned my gaze toward his and felt rooted to my seat by his eyes. I could see them more clearly now, and they were just beautiful. The dark brown was peppered with flecks of gold, lending a brightness to his face. My uneasiness was slowly beginning to dissipate.
“Well, right now? Those eyes of yours,” I said.
“My eyes?” he asked.
“They’re beautiful. And very intense. It’s hard to move beneath your gaze,” I said.
I brought my beer to my lips as I settled my sights back onto the fire. Whatever in the world had possessed me to say that to him? Though he had been
nothing but hospitable to me the past two days, I still didn’t really know this man. Yet, I had just opened up to him more than I’d opened up to any guy in four damn years. Suddenly, I felt exposed.
“Well, thank you for the beers,” I said, breathlessly.
I stood up from the couch and felt Evan’s eyes follow my movements.
“I need to check in on my dad,” I said as Evan continued to sit silently studying me.
I set my beer on the coffee table and quickly made my way to the hallway. Once inside the bedroom, I closed and locked the door behind me and flopped down onto the bed. My emotions were at war inside me and I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it all.
The past four years of my life had been spent trying to forget, trying to move forward, but ultimately being stuck in one spot. Yes, I’d gone back and finished college. Yes, I’d kept up my friendships and I even occasionally went out. But when it had come to men and relationships, I’d closed that part of my life off.
I’d even convinced myself that I was fine with it. Something about Evan, though, was making me question my decision. Could I continue to live in fear? Did I want to? Did I want him to be the one to show me it was okay to trust again?
I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes and sighed deeply. One thing I did know, was that if I didn’t get out of this cabin soon, I was going to find out.