When I'd find the time to go out or bang anybody, let alone Mr. Handsome, I wasn't sure. But, it was nice to have a friend. Even one that was a little flakey like Raya. That's all part of what made her unique and gave her a special kind of charm though, to be honest. She was just such a free spirit and I envied that.
“You don't sound so eager to go home, Casey,” she said, pausing in front of me. “Everything okay?”
“Am I ever eager to go home?” I snorted.
I swirled the coffee around in my cup as Raya stared down at me. I could see the concern for me in her eyes and I really didn’t want to make her worry about me. Pity was the last thing I wanted.
“It's fine,” I said. “Dad just got his social security check, which means that I'm sure he'll be wasted already.”
“This early in the morning?” Raya asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“Yeah, it's right about time for his monthly bender.”
“I'm sorry, chica,” she said. “I'd offer to let you to come over to my place, but – ”
“Grandparents. I know,” I said. “Besides, I have to get Sierra and Nick out the door for school. God knows he won't do it and mom's already left for work – so that leaves me.”
Raya's eyes softened a bit, and she looked at me as if, for the first time, she understood what I was dealing with at home. It was fleeting, though, as she checked her phone again.
“They're early! Eek!,” she said. “They'll be here in an hour, I gotta run. But, just so you know, I'm always here to talk, chica. Always.”
“Thanks, Raya,” I say, blowing her a kiss. “See you soon.”
After blowing me a quick kiss in return, my friend turned and rushed out the door, leaving me alone at the restaurant. She'd left a few pieces of honeydew on her plate, so I took a few bites of that, trying to fill my otherwise empty belly. The waitress comes over and checked on me.
“More coffee, hon?”
“No, thanks,” I said, pulling out the wad of cash from last night. “I'm ready to pay.”
Time to go home. Sierra and Nick needed me. They might be teenagers, but if anything, that made it harder to get their asses to school on time. Neither one of them were morning people. Like me.
I hoped that once I got them out the door, I might get at least, a few hours’ sleep before heading back into the club. It was Sunday, which was normally my one day off, but there was a special event booked for the night, and I'd volunteered to work. I really didn't want to, but I needed the overtime and all the tips I could get.
I slipped from the booth and walked toward the Blue Line train. The sun was just starting to make an appearance on the horizon, which made me feel better about riding the train. Some nights, it was pretty sketchy. Especially dressed in my waitressing outfit. Some of the creeps on the train were skeevier than the pigs in the club I had to deal with.
Usually, if I remembered, I changed before hopping on the train. Not that it made much difference, people still assumed I was a hooker, or at least hoped that I might fuck them for the right price.
Morning was different. Commuters crowded the train, making it standing room only, but at least there was less chance of getting attacked or raped because there were too many witnesses.
God, what I wouldn't give to have my own car, I thought to myself. Maybe someday. For now, mom needed it more than me. So, as with everything else, I'd make due and put my own needs to the side. My needs didn't matter. The needs of my family did.
CHAPTER FIVE
MALCOLM
I really wasn't sure what I was thinking. I must have been gripped by some really potent alcohol or a quick bout of dementia myself. I had to have been to even consider asking a cocktail waitress to be the mother of my children. Not that she would have agreed, but the fact that I even considered it – even if only for the briefest of moments – told me just how crazed this whole thing was making me.
Honestly though, it just seemed like she needed a way out of that shitty job, and for a brief minute, I thought I could be a hero. Thought that maybe, I could swoop in with this amazing offer to pay her a large sum of money for her to be a surrogate for me, and both of our problems would be solved.
Not my brightest moment, that was for sure.
It was Monday morning, and I'd made a promise to my mom to meet with the people at Surrogates R Us – okay, not really what they were called, but that's what I called them. It seemed far more preferable to make light of them and what they did than admit that I was taking them, and this whole process, seriously.
The entire thing just felt weird to me. This was not how I pictured myself making babies. Not at all. But, it seemed like the only option I currently had. With time running short to meet my father's demands – and beat Adam to the punch – I really needed to explore the options I did, in fact, have.
The waiting room was filled with people – couples, mostly. A lesbian couple, an older, wealthier looking couple, and a younger couple. I was the only single person there, and I felt incredibly out of place as I flipped through a Parent's magazine, which had photos of happy families with bright eyes and wide smiles.
Yes, in the modern day, a family doesn't have to be a mom and a dad. Two dads, two moms, hell, even one dad and two moms if you were into that sort of lifestyle. Single parents were common enough too. Men and women these days, could raise children alone, sure, but making a child without a partner was not what I had in mind.