I turned and walked away, pissed off, but unsure of what really bothered me more about all of it. Sure, the fact that he was using me – or more specifically, wanting to use my womb for his own benefit – was enough.
But, there was more to it than that. It bothered me in a lot of ways on a lot of different levels. Maybe I'd actually started to like the guy. My heart ached in my chest as I opened the gate to our small apartment complex, slamming it behind me.
I'd actually thought he was different. I’d thought that maybe he'd been interested in me for something more than my body. Boy, had I read that one wrong.
As I unlocked the front door to our place, I tip-toed into the apartment. I looked over my shoulder and out the door, toward the black BMW that was still parked in the street. I was a fool, but part of me hoped Malcolm might come after me. That hope was gone though, after I watched him start the car and drive away.
Shutting the door behind me, I locked it and saw my dad sleeping on the couch, as usual. Good. I didn't feel like dealing with him tonight anyway. I walked quietly through the living room and through the kitchen, stopping outside my siblings’ bedroom door first.
I pushed the door open a crack and glanced inside. I hated that they had to share a room. Teenage boys and girls both needed their own space, and the room was only about as large as a walk-in closet.
Their twin beds were pushed to opposite ends of the wall, but even still, they had to climb down to the bottom of the bed to get out – there wasn't enough room between the beds to form a decent walkway. Not all that long ago, they'd been forced to share a bed, but I'd found another twin mattress at Goodwill and bought it after a good night of tips.
Sharing a room with your teenage sibling – of the opposite gender, no less – was bad enough on its own. But, having to share a bed was too much. For their part though, they handled it with more grace than I probably could have mustered at their age. They were good kids and knew the score of things. They knew the situation we were in and didn't whine or complain about it very often.
Which somehow, seemed to break my heart a little more for the both of them.
I closed their bedroom door and walked to my room – the one I shared with our mother. Mom was fast asleep in her bed as I changed out of the bloody clothes. That's when I realized I still had Malcolm's jacket. I didn't know how I was going to get it back to him, but I'd find a way. I couldn't keep it.
/> I neatly folded it and placed it on top of the dresser before changing into a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt. My body ached, and I was exhausted, but my mind wouldn't shut off. Mostly, what I kept thinking about Malcolm's offer. Money like his would do a lot for us. It could get us out of there. My mom, siblings, and I could start a new life somewhere else. We could move somewhere more affordable, maybe inland or even to another state. Strictly speaking, nothing was keeping us in California – especially not in Los Angeles.
That kind of money could mean an entirely new start for us. Except, for the fact that I'd have to carry a child inside of me for nine months, of course. After having given birth to the child, I'd then have to hand it over to Malcolm and his family at the end. That was something that could be a little tough to do.
Not that I could care for another child. I had enough on my plate as it was. But, the idea of going through pregnancy and labor was too much for me. One day, I wanted children, but not like that. Not that I could see myself ever being able to afford having children of my own. Not living like we were.
I fell into a restless sleep, tossing and turning and dreaming about being homeless with my siblings, on the streets of Hollywood, begging for food.
If I didn't find another job – and fast – that future actually might not be too far off.
CHAPTER NINE
MALCOLM
I sat in my office at Crane Enterprise, scouring internet dating sites, growing more and more frustrated with each passing minute. I had to physically restrain myself from putting my fist through the computer screen.
How did you even go about asking someone you don't know to have a child with you? How do you even choose someone to do something like that?
Asking Casey had clearly been a mistake. Her temper and stubbornness might have been sexy, but it was also trouble. I should have known better than to even mention it, but there was something about her I found entirely alluring and compelling. I was definitely drawn to her in ways I still couldn't quite understand.
Of course, none of that mattered now. She'd said no and got really pissed off at me for even suggesting it, so I was going to have to look elsewhere. The problem was, that on this site, every profile I pulled up on my computer got a big, fat “NO” from me. It wasn't like I was getting any closer to finding a suitable surrogate.
A knock at my office door pulled me away from the computer. I minimized the screen and sat up, clearing my throat.
“Come in.”
When the door opened, I groaned and rolled my eyes. Adam smirked at me, sauntered in, and took a seat across from me. He leaned back in the seat and put his feet up on the corner of my desk – which annoyed me to no end.
“Get your feet off my desk,” I said. “Or I'll take them down for you.”
He left them up for another minute and when I continued glaring at him, he smirked, shook his head, and finally removed them.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“Grumpy, aren't we, Malcolm?” he said, shaking his head. “It's understandable. I guess the idea of potentially losing your inheritance and position in the company would do that to a person.”
“Like you're any closer to getting the job done.”
His smirk grew wider. “Actually, I am,” he said. “But, that's not what I came to discuss.”