I shrugged and kept on walking up the stairs, holding her hand in mine. She kept up with me, walking beside me. We turned the corner at the top of the stairs, and I slipped into my old childhood playroom. As soon as the door closed behind us, I wrapped my arms around Casey and exhaled deeply.
“I've been waiting to hold you all night.” I said.
Casey's body was stiff, and she didn't relax into me or return the hug. I stepped back, taking her face into my hands.
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Danielle,” I said. “It's complicated.”
“Is the baby yours?”
“She says it is.”
Casey recoiled as if I'd smacked her across the face. With a look of outrage and contempt, she yanked herself free from my grasp. Her eyes were filled with emotion now – the most obvious one being anger.
“Casey, this could be good news,” I said. “It would mean I get my inheritance and my dad's company. And you don't have to go through with any of this –”
“I'm pregnant, Malcolm,” she blurted out before I could finish my sentence.
My heart stopped. “What did you just say?” I asked, wondering if I'd actually heard her correctly or was just jumping to conclusions.
“I said, I'm pregnant. I had a positive test earlier today, and I wanted to see you. I wanted to tell you about it in person, but –” her voice cracked and she looked away.
For the first time since we'd met, the tough, impenetrable armor Casey wore cracked and I saw the tears as they rushed down her cheeks. She wasn't invincible after all. She leaned back against the wall, crumpling down until she was sitting on the floor, her knees pulled into her chest.
“I just felt so alone,” she said. “And I felt like you were abandoning me. I wasn't sure where we stood.”
She stopped and took a deep, shaky breath. But then, explosive sobs escaped her tiny body, shaking her to her very core, as she buried her face in her hands.
As I looked at her, heard her words echoing around in my head, the room started spinning around me. I had to reach out and grab hold of the wall to steady myself. To keep my legs from giving out beneath me. I didn't speak for a long time, almost afraid of what might come out of my mouth, but after I had a chance to think it through, I joined Casey on the floor, pressing my back against the wall.
“I'm so happy to hear that,” I said, feeling an excited warmth spreading through me.
She lifted her head just enough to stare at me with one eye.
“You are?” she asked, her voice soft.
I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her into me, kissing the top of her head.
“I am,” I replied.
“Even though Danielle is having your baby too?”
“It's not about the inheritance, Casey,” I said. “When you told me you were pregnant, my first instinct was to freak out. But then, as I thought about it – and thought about how I feel about you – I realized that I've never felt happier in my entire life.”
I couldn't explain it. No words that I could string together would help it make sense to Casey. But, it made perfect sense to me, somehow. I stared at the room around us, actually seeing it for the first time. The walls were painted a light blue, and around the tops of the walls was the painting of the train that circled it. Next to us, on my old racecar bed, was a teddy bear dressed like a train engineer. I picked it up, staring into the beady black eyes.
“Think the little guy will like trains, like I did as a kid?” I asked, booping the bear against Casey's head.
“Who says it's a boy?” she said, lifting her head up. “Maybe it's a girl that likes trains.”
“I knew that would get you talking,” I said, giving her a little smile.
Casey took the bear from me and held it firmly in her hands. She stared at the bear intently and I could see the wheels turning in that head of hers. She might be on speaking terms with me, but there was still a look in her eyes. She was scared, and I wanted nothing more than to reassure her. To take away her fear. To prove to her that I'd take care of her and the baby.
All I could see on her face though, was doubt and fear.
“You know, I'm going to be there for you, right?” I asked.